Fantasy Team #2 – Grade My Team

Things to know:

  • 12 teams
  • .5 point PPR
  • Snake draft, I was #4
  • Unlike last draft where I took TWO kickers, I accidentally took ZERO kickers in this draft.


The Black Tux Knows What It’s Doing

We used The Black Tux to rent suits for Mike’s wedding and this is a company that knows exactly what it’s doing. This was honestly as easy as it gets.

First, it asks your measurements.

Now, the only measurements any normal guy knows off the top of their head is their waste size, and their penis length, girth, circumference, and average time-of-use.

They give you step-by-step instructions with picture diagrams for each measurement that’s needed. Entering the measurements took 5 minutes.

Then, they send you the suit.

It comes in the mail in a perfectly-put-together package ~2 weeks prior to your event. You try everything on to make sure it fits (mine did), but if it doesn’t, you just let them know and they send you another suit with adjusted measurements, and you don’t even have to send the one you have back (yet).

Next, you look fly as shit at your event.

Self explanatory.

Last, you send the suit back.

Black Tux Job Interview

You get a wonderfully optimized email the day after your event with instructions on how to return. The return label AND tape to reseal the package it came in are included in the initial package. I drove that shit to the Fedex place, dropped it off, and that was it. Done.

This is a company that prioritizes ease of use and they do a hell of a job. Highly recommended.

Congrats Mike & Theresa!

This weekend I went to Mike and Theresa’s wedding and it just confirmed that weddings are the best social event of all time. I was honored to be selected as a groomsman and I must say being in a wedding is a very cool experience.

I won’t get into too much detail but overall it was a 10/10 weekend because of the weekend. Congrats to Mike and Theresa!

Here are some funny animals:

Incognito Birthday

Growing up as a kid, my birthday always fell at the start of the school year which was an unhappy time.

As I got older, I never threw parties, but would usually “celebrate” in some way.

This year, I went totally undercover. I didn’t really realize it was my birthday until Monday and by that point I didn’t care. I didn’t want to do anything.

So yesterday, I did my best to keep things under wraps. Texts and calls from family and close friends came in but that was basically it, as I’d hoped.

I even kept it from my co-workers until CK4 blew my cover around 3:15. They questioned why I was being “weird” about it. What am I supposed to do? March in and demand gifts from everyone? Telling people its your birthday is a bad look.

After work I went on a run, played some COD, then Wacker stopped over and me, him, and Rob just bro’d out for a few hours.

Happiness = Reality – Expectations

I expected nothing different on my birthday and it was everything I thought it would be. Give it a try!

Here’s to 26.

I’m Going Vegetarian… Kind’ve

I watched Earthlings in college and it made me consider going vegetarian.

Then I recently read Schlegel’s post about the book Eating Animals and it revived those thoughts. For the past few weeks I’ve been actively thinking about how easy or hard it would be to cut meat out of my diet.

Then, half way through my Acme trip today I noticed I had no meat products in my cart, and I decided on a whim that I’m going to commit.

Now, my mom is nice enough to buy me turkey for lunch, so I’m going to finish the current batch of turkey she bought me, but after that, I’m done-ish.

I don’t know how long it’ll last, and I can’t guarantee I’ll be 100%. I’d be lying if I said I won’t get a cheesesteak one of the drunken nights, but the idea is there.

I don’t even know WHY I’m doing it. Partly because I believe in better treatment of animals, and that the less dependent we are on animal meat the better, and partly just to see what it’s like.

Any thoughts or advice from those who have done it before are welcome!

My First Auction Draft – Grade My Team


  • Dynasty League! This was our first draft and we’re keeping 8 each year.
  • Full point PPR.
  • 12 Teams.
  • $200 budget.
  • I picked two kickers to spite someone, not because I wanted either of them.

Players I got that I was actively targeting: Evans, Crowder, Kelce, and Hill.

Big Ben for $1, despite being 35, is a steal since he’ll put up numbers this year and I like Wentz for the future.

I’m nervous about Gurley and Anderson but there’s upside there.

I’d have changed a few things if I could do it again, but auction drafts are fun and would be open to doing all drafts as auctions as it’s a more level playing field.

My Viral Tweet

There it is, in all its glory, my most liked tweet ever.

  • Twitter trolls are asking me what my secret is.
  • High school runner girls keep DM’ing me to run together.
  • Sports Illustrated reached out and asked me to join their T&F department because of how embarrassed they were about this screw up.

Fame feels good!

Nashville / Total Eclipse Recap

Tom wrote a more detailed review of our trip for those interested.


The 12 hour drive there went by fast. Our Airbnb was great and we got started by going to Broadway. Everything was going great until Tom and I got too drunk (I think I was first). It was an embarrassing / inconvenient way to start the trip (for me) and Laura ended up bailing both of us out thankfully.

I had my worst hangover in recent memory on Saturday where my body was rejecting everything. Saturday night was ‘smarter’ as we held our booze much better.

Sunday was the do-touristy-things day. We saw the Parthenon, the Farmers Market, etc. which were good, but let me say this – the Adventure Science Center was horrible. 1/10, and that’s being generous.

We spent Sunday out as well then hit the road early Monday.

A few thoughts on Nashville:

  • The live music scene is fantastic, a difference maker when compared to other major cities.
  • There’s never traffic somehow.
  • It’s too hot. I sweat basically right away when outside.
  • The Lyft drivers were all great and memorable people.

Nashville is a city that should be on your bucket list.

The Eclipse

I didn’t have a spiritual awakening, I wasn’t brought to tears, and I didn’t feel “overwhelmed”, like many described. It was a very cool experience, like nothing you’ve ever seen before, but it didn’t change my life.

A million dollar camera can make anything look cool, but the eclipse was actually cool.

Tom, Laura, and I drove to a remote area of Tennessee to view the eclipse from a set of train tracks with a few other random people.

About 30 minutes prior to totality, you could start sensing that it was getting darker, just barely, and that the colors were slowly shifting. The temperature started cooling off, and the crickets / bugs started blaring. With each passing minute, the effects were getting a bit more dramatic.

Then, in an instant, it went from weirdly light outside to dark. Not middle-of-the-night-dark, but dark. The absolute best thing visually was the moon / sun itself. It was a black hole in the sky with a bright ring around it.

All things considered, it was 100% worth the trip.

Eclipsing in Nashville

Laura, Tom and I are road tripping to Nashville tomorrow morning bright and early. We have Airbnbs booked through Monday morning and are turning the eclipse into an extended weekend vacation in the old Windy City!

“He’s going to see the eclipse?!”

We’re still deciding what exactly were going to do from Friday night – Monday morning, but it’ll work itself out. To those not in the path of totality, suck it!

But you can find out how much you’ll actually see here.

I won’t be posting until I’m back, unless I stare directly into the eclipse without glasses, in which case I’ll never post or see anything again.