My Can and Can’ts of Drinking

Drink Preference

Can: Beer

From Natty Ice, to 90 Minute IPA, and everything in between, beer is the way to drink. This needs no explanation. I do have preferences, but there is essentially no time where I would take any other type of drink over a beer. Done deal. Lights out. Seeyuhlater.

Can’t: Mixed Drinks

I will never understand mixed drinks. I’m primarily a beer drinker, but I can dabble with shots. Mixed drinks on the other hand make zero sense to me. Why dull the pain over time when you can just rip a shot and get it over witfh? The only mixed drink I voluntarily order is the trash can, and I only do that because it makes sense economically and I don’t want to go to the bar every time after finishing a beer.

Drink Method

Can: Beer bong

Did you say beer bongs?
Did you say beer bongs?

The beer bong is like a drinking hack. Why sip on eight beers when you can bong them all while Tom Brady beats the Ravens? Those who “can’t” bong beers are really missing out. A drinking must in my opinion that trumps basically all other methods when the intention is binge drinking. Shotguns are messy, chugging is limited, beer bongs are perfect.

Can’t: N/A.

I don’t want to sound like a tool, but nothing comes to mind as an absolute “can’t” in terms of a method to consume alcohol. I don’t prefer shots, but I can do them. I don’t prefer shot guns, but I can do them.

Hard Alcohol

Can: Vodka

I don’t do shots that often, but when I do, vodka is by far my hard alcohol of choice. Does it taste good? No, not really. But even shitty vodka goes down easy. Best of all, no chaser is required for really any type. For me, there’s vodka, then there’s everything else, then there’s below.

Can’t: Whisky

barfMy father is a whisky drinker, specifically Johnny Walker Black. I was never fond of whisky, but over the past few years, it’s become basically a no-go for me. Every whisky shot now ends with me hovering over a trash can or toilet on the verge of puke. It doesn’t matter what chaser I use. Call me a poon, I’ve learned to pass on these.


Can: Flip cup

Chugging a flip-cup amount of beer is not difficult for me, and flipping the cup is also not difficult. On my list of top 10 drinking games, flip cup is #1. You get drunk quickly, you get everyone involved, and it takes a certain level of skill. Flip cup is an all around A+. Maybe I’m biased because I’m good at it, but that’s how I feel.

mep mep
Beer Pong? Meh.

Can’t Beer Pong

I shouldn’t say I “can’t” play beer pong, but it is definitely my worst drinking game when compared to it’s overall popularity. I’m bad at it and I feel like it takes away from the party atmosphere since only four people can play. I don’t know why this is the staple drinking game. It’s something nice that goes on in the background but to often do people try to make this a central part of the party.


Can: Blackout

Blackout Sam at a party.
Blackout Sam at a party.

The black out is a semi-regular occurrence for me. I know some people say they’ve never blacked out, which I don’t understand. I don’t try to blackout, it just happens. I get carried away with drinking and it’s fun and in the moment and next thing you know I’m blacked. I would be more concerned about this if I was a violent drunk or did really bad things, but black-out Sam is a pretty peaceful creature.

Can’t: Puke

PUKEI’m not boasting about this. The last time I puked from drinking too much was freshman year in college. I’ve puked from a bad bong or a whiskey shot, but it’s been 5+ years since I puked from drinking too much. Novice drinkers puke before they blackout. Alcoholics puke after they blackout out, or not at all.  I can’t get myself to the point where I throw up because I’d be so blacked I’d just fall asleep.

General Motor Skills

Can: N/A

Can’t: Speak, walk straight, dance, keep eyes open, remember names, play guitar, stay awake, etc.

nic cage laffWhen the drink is on, all bets are off. I’m not good at hiding my drunk. I begin slurring significantly, walking can be hazardous, I suck just as bad at dancing when I’m drunk compared to when sober, I don’t listen to people when they say their name, I forget how to play guitar, and I insta-pass out beyond a certain point. When I put it like this, it makes me question why I drink as often as I do. Life is short.

Anyone else?

Beck and Beyonce – Album of the Year

Much has been made of the “controversy” at the Grammy’s this year. Beck’s album Morning Phase won album of the year, much to everyone’s (including Beck) surprise.

Kanye West jokingly walked up on stage with Beck, only to return to his seat. Afterward he made comments saying Beck should give the award to Beyonce.

The Public Reaction to Kanye

Overall, I think the public has reacted pretty well. People somewhat uniformly agree that Kanye’s actions were classless and out-of-line. To try to take away someone elses moment like that and shine the spotlight elsewhere is awful. I’d be shocked if Kanye even listened to Beck’s album. Whether you agree that Beck should have won or not, most agree Kanye went about it wrong.

The Public Reaction to the Award

In general, people don’t seem to mind that Beck won. Although a lot of people were surprised, I haven’t seen that many are upset. I’ve been listening to his album this week and it’s definitely good. I haven’t listened to Beyonce’s so I can’t speak to that.

And Then I Saw This Article

For the love of god, is everything about race these days? I’ll sum the article up for you in one sentence: Beyonce didn’t win because she’s a black woman and Beck won because he’s a white male.

This article is actually well written, and the paragraph summing up Beyonce’s album is convincing. But it doesn’t even acknowledge Beck’s album. Beyonce could have been going against Sgt. Pepper and if she lost, this person would have perceived it as a race thing.

Music is subjective. You can’t say that Beyonce definitely should or should not have won, same with Beck. The fact that the article doesn’t touch on Beck’s album shows that she probably never listened to it, which puts this woman in no position to say A) Beyonce should have won or B) Beck won because he’s a white male.

Honestly, I bet there are people who think “Beyonce’ shouldn’t win because she’s a black woman“, but they’re not getting articles published on Huffington Post.

My Thoughts

I’ve only listened to Beck’s album, so I can’t say who’s is “better”, though personally I like his music more than Beyonce’s.

My opinion has nothing to do with race. I would have been totally okay with Beyonce winning, but I’m happy for Beck.

Music Preference by State

Courtesy of

How am I so out of the loop? Here are songs that I know from each artist with zero help from Google.

Alt-J – Left Hand Free, Breezeblocks, Tessalette, and a few more.
An alternative artist from the UK that’s just getting publicity now. I’m keeping an eye out because I like them.

Daft Punk – Get Lucky.
I know some others but can’t remember. I like them though.

Drake – You Da Fuckin’ Best. Club Going Up on a Tuesday?
I’m sure I’ve heard a few, but don’t know it’s him. Not a fan of Drake’s music.

Eminem – I could name 20 of his old songs, nothing new though.

Imagine Dragons – I know their first album and a few of their new things. I actually follow and care about them.

Jay-Z – Dirt Off Your Shoulders? H to the Izzo?
The only reason I know those is from the Linkin Park Jay-Z remix. I’m sure I’ve heard more, but nothing comes to mind.

Lorde – Royals, Tennis Court.
I’ve heard a few others but don’t remember what they’re called. Actually kind of like her.

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Thrift Shop, Same Love.
Disliked him a lot after the AMAs last year.

Does this make me racist?


NCAA Women’s Basketball – Last Night’s Clash of the Titans

This post will echo last year’s post about women’s college basketball.

Last night, the #1 ranked South Carolina Gamecocks took on the #2 ranked UConn Huskies for what was sure to be this years biggest regular season game in women’s college basketball!

UConn was 22-1 leading into this game and South Carolina was 22-0. These are the two best teams in the country.

Do you know what the line was going into this game? UConn -14.

The Sixers also played a game last night. They played the Golden State Warriors, the team with the best record in the NBA. 

Do you know what the line was going into that game? Golden State -14.5.

The Warriors, arguably the best team in the NBA are 14 point favorites against the Sixers, arguably the worst team in the NBA. In between them fall 30 other teams.

UConn, the best team in Women’s College Basketball, are 14 point favorites against South Carolina, the second best team in Women’s College Basketball. In between them fall ZERO teams.

The Warriors ended up winning by 5.


Who wants to watch this? As a spectator, what’s the point of watching when one team is multiple levels above every other team? I’ll take bets right now, I’ll take UConn -200 to win the tournament this year. Who in their right mind would bet against me?

I understand it’s college ball, and the large majority of teams and players are playing for the love of the game. There’s nothing wrong with that. But as a spectator, there’s no desire to watch the tournament when one team is so dominant. It’s not a good product.


Tacoma Narrows Bridge

I’m sure some have seen this, but I brought this up on a run yesterday, and wanted to see the video again. This is insane.

UC Alumni Mile 2015

The Experience

Toeing the LineThis weekend was the fourth annual Ursinus Alumni Mile. The race and experience was a lot of fun. It’s good to go back and see the people you used to train / race with and give it another go one time a year. Ten of us toed the start line for a race that no one was actually looking forward to. After the race we headed to the bar for a few drinks to catch up. We’re all out of college, but being with that group at the Trappe Tavern after a track meet made it feel like we were back in school.

I ended up staying at Ursinus for the night and it was awful. I got hammered, threw up, passed out, got drawn on, woke up, started bonging, blacked again, seeyuhlater. Just like the good old days!

The Race

I’ve been running about 35 miles a week for about two months, just kind of staying in shape, not doing any workouts. I went in wanting to break 4:50 just as something to shoot for and my final time was 4:48.45.

While the time didn’t totally surprise me, the manner in which it happened did. My first 809 was run in 2:29. My next 400 was 73. My final 400 was 66.6, with a last lap of 31.3. Basically, I negative split by a lot. I think I could run around 4:40 with competition and even splits.

With the minimal amount of work I put in to get into this shape, it leaves me somewhat motivated to try and get into good track shape. I was on the edge of trying to run a fast 5k-10k this spring, but this pushed me over. I think I’m going to put in the work and see what I can do. I won’t have many years left of being in this type of shape, so I want to take advantage while I can.

Congrats to everyone who ran, it was a lot of fun, and I’ll see you next year. Results are below.

Alumni Mile

Mad Sam

Hayley and I decided this week that we would pick a TV series to watch. We have Netflix, so the choices were limited to what was on there. We narrowed it down to three:

  • Arrested Development – I’ve seen it before and I would very willingly watch it again. Hilarious.
  • House of Cards – Hayley has seen it before. I know it’s about politics and Kevin Spacey is in it. Love Kevin Spacey.
  • Mad Men – Neither of us have seen it, but we’ve both heard good things.

So in an effort to try new things, we opted for Mad Men.

TV series’ where you have to follow along aren’t my thing. The most recent series’ I’ve watched are Breaking Bad, Arrested Development, and Tom and I watched all 12 episodes of The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret in a day about two years ago. I dabbled in Entourage six years ago, and have seen the first season of Dexter.

When I look at Mad Men and see that it has seven seasons, I get intimidated. But I’d just be playing COD if I didn’t watch this, so there’s nothing to lose!

We’re two episodes in. Nothing has “grabbed” me yet, but the show is interesting; the dialogue is well done, the perspective on what life was like 50 years ago is very cool, and I like the fact that it’s an ad agency because that’s relevant to what I do. Don Draper is a cool character, and I can see me getting into this. I don’t know if we’ll stick it out through all seven seasons, but I’m looking forward to watching it.

Has anyone seen the show? Thoughts or comments on it?

I have a lot of icons on my desktop

As an intern at my current employer, I always wondered how my boss had so many icons on his desktop. How did it grow so out of control? Similar to fat people; how do you weigh 400 pounds? Didn’t realize at 300 that something was going wrong? How did you grow so out of control?

As of Wednesday, February 4th, 2015, I have 230 icons on my desktop. Below is a screen shot (click to enlarge (if only it were that easy when you’re drunk!)):

Desktop 1

Do I actively use these? I’d say there’s maybe 3 I actively use, so ~1% of the total. 99% of them are not being used, they’re useless. Why don’t I delete them? I’ll tell you why – just in case I need them.

It sounds silly, how are there over 200 things I might need? I save them because at the time, I think I may go back to them within a day, or a week. Then time goes on, and I forget what they are, so I can’t delete them. If someone says “Hey, do you have that thing?”, there’s a good chance I do. How often does that happen? Never. I should delete them.

So when I was a young, naive intern I judged my boss for being unorganized. How did he let it get so out of hand? Well, now I know. You shouldn’t judge people if you haven’t been in their situation.

Anyone else have this many icons?

Wing Bowl XXIII

I know I’m almost a week late here, but I did attend this year’s Wing Bowl. Here’s my summary:

  • No sleep prior to pregame.
  • Got Stortz Tools at around 2:30.
  • Found out Tom wouldn’t be joining us :'(.
  • Drank Natty Ice like the good old days thanks to Wacker.
  • Left for the actual event at 5:15.
  • Blacked out like the good old days thanks to Natty Ice.
  • Passed out for the first half hour in my seat.
  • The actual eating contest was long and boring.
  • I cheered for Skin n’ Bones.
  • I saw six boobs the whole time.
  • Six
  • Not sixty.
  • Not six hundred thousand.
  • Just six.
  • We left at nine.
  • In the morning?
  • In the morning.
  • Eggs Benny for breakfast?
  • Auto.
  • Back to the shop.
  • Drive home.
  • Insta-passout?
  • Seeyuhlater.