NFL Week 11 2017 – LOCK OF THE WEEK

Atlanta last week was a no-brainer.

Lock of the Week – San Diego Chargers -7 vs. Buffalo Bills

Lock of the weekThis is the first week I’ll be putting my money where my mouth is. $50 on the Chargers here is probably the second easiest $50 I’ve ever made.

If that’s not convincing enough for you, Wads blind-confirmed this as the lock of the week yesterday.

I’m 5/7 on the year for what it’s worth. 75% after 8 games will be convincing.

I might adopt this cat

That little guy is Melon and he has no eyes. You can see more pictures of him here.

I saw he was up for adoption like 6 weeks ago and figured he’d be snatched up quickly. Sadly, he hasn’t.

I wasn’t considering getting another cat, but after seeing that he was still there, I started to feel bad, so I sent in a PAWS application this week and have an appointment to see him Saturday afternoon.

The foster lady even said “Bring a carrier in case you want to take him home on the spot!”. There’s a decent chance I come home with a blind cat on Saturday.

My main question is this – what should I name him?

Playing off the blind thing is a gimme (hence Melon, but I don’t like the name Melon). It’d be a stretch to try to go with blind AND Sixers, but we’ll see.

He’s just like any other cat!

The first time Melon has groomed anyone besides us. ???????????? * * #melon #bones #catbros #bromance #sandpapertongue

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Top 5 Ben Stiller Movies

5. Tropic Thunder

The comedic star-power surrounding Stiller is great – Robert Downey, Jack Black, Danny McBride, McConaughey, Cruise, etc. and it also helps that he directed it.

The Simple Jack conversation and never going “full-retard” is a classic.


4. Starsky and Hutch

Underrated movie, granted I’m an Owen Wilson fan. Playing the moody, Napolean syndrome beta is a great roll for Stiller.

The coke dance-off gets me every time, especially the emphasis on “MY MAN DANCIN’ RICK!” and the following gun-pull


3. Zoolander

Another Owen Wilson movie?! You bet.

Over 15 years later and this movie is still regularly quoted by the sheeple which is a sign of staying power. This was also Will Ferrell’s coming out party as a star.

Which is more quoted today? – “What is this, a [insert object here] for ants?!” or “IN… the computer?


2. Meet the Parents

The everything-goes-wrong-for-Greg theme is so realistic and relatable. De Niro plays his part just as well as Stiller and of course, there’s a great appearance by Owen Wilson.

This grace scene is amazing, but honorable mention is the volley ball debacle.


1. Something About Mary

What can I say? This movie is a 10, one of those you can put it on at anytime and it’s always good movies.

Not only is this Stiller at his best, but Cameron Diaz too. Matt Dillon hasn’t done much, but “I work with retards” alone makes his performance stellar.

This scene is a bit over the top, but the lifeless body going out the window is an all-timer.

 

Honorable Mention: Along Came Poly, Cable Guy (kind’ve (definitely))

NFL Week 10 2017 – LOCK OF THE WEEK

I’ve missed on two locks and both were going against the Jets. I’ve learned my lesson, as Simoncini would say, the Jets are contenders.

Lock of the Week – Atlanta Falcons -3.5 vs. Dallas Cowboys

Lock of the weekI saw this line on Tuesday and immediately thought Atlanta was going to win in a blowout. This was before we knew about the Zeke news.

Zeke getting suspended actually hurts my case here. Knowing Vegas, they probably knew Zeke would get suspended, so they opened at Dallas +3.5 which people would be all over IF Zeke was playing, but he’s not.

Regardless. Atlanta wins this going away.

Marriage as a 5 Year Contract

No commitment in our society is life-long except marriage (I did not fact check this). We lease cars, rent apartments, even pets only last a decade or so.

But not marriage. Marriage is a forever-commitment, and we’re starting to realize now how unrealistic this is. The solution?

Marriage should be written as a recurring 5 year contract.

When you ‘get married’, the marriage is valid for 5 years. At the end of 5 years, both parties either mutually agree to renew the contract or the marriage ends.

This is good for a few reasons:

  • It gives bad marriages an easy-out without having to be proactive. Most bad marriages last so long because neither party wants actually make the decision to get divorced.
  • It encourages couples to be open with each other as their contract comes up. If one thinks things are iffy and is worried the other won’t want to renew, it will make them actually confront their problems to either improve the relationship, or end it.
  • It makes each person want to be a better partner. Ending the contract is way easier than divorce. In the non-contract era, people can get fat, lose their job, not do special things for their significant other, etc. NOT ANYMORE! You’ll stay in shape, buy flowers, plan dinners, whatever it is to keep them happy if it’s a contract you want to renew.
  • It gives you an excuse to throw a sweet party every time you renew the contract. Weddings are the best social event, 100%. Why only have one per couple?!
“This is an awesome idea. Almost as good as becoming a pickle!”

But it does have some potential problems…

  • What do you do with kids? Split them in half. I don’t know. But staying in a marriage just for the kids isn’t a good reason to stay together.
  • How do you manage financials? Another detail I haven’t worked out, but I’m not worried about this one. This, again, shouldn’t be the reason a couple stays together.
  • This is, quite frankly, extremely unromantic. I get that saying “’til death do us part” sounds way better than “til five years from now when we re-evaluate our relationship“. Romance is overrated?

I can’t wait to propose to my future wife with no diamond ring and tell her I only want a 5 year commitment. She’ll probably want to skip right to the part where we don’t renew the contract.

280 Characters – Not a big deal

I wrote this post a year ago about conciseness being is a valuable skill in the real world (a top 10% post of mine in my opinion).

Twitter doubled its character-limit for tweets to 280 and people are going nuts. You’d think, given my stance on conciseness, I’d be up in arms about this too. But I’m not.

Twitter is great because it plays on the short attention span.

Newsflash: 280 characters is still pretty fucking short. 

“Waahhhhh 280 is too much!!”

Overall, this change will only improve the Twitter experience in my opinion. It’s not a matter of “You need to edit better!“. You’re just going to see higher quality content in a still-quickly-digestible format.

And don’t forget, the unfollow option is always there.

It will be annoying for the next week as people try to think of clever ways to clog up your feed (sorry Sixers, this one was bad), but it will be a net positive.

— Philadelphia 76ers (@sixers) November 8, 2017

Would this make professional sporting events better or worse?

To me, this is a brilliant idea that I would implement immediately.

Before each game, a seat ticket is drawn at random and whoever has that ticket has to sing the National Anthem in front of everyone or else they have to leave the game.

“You think THAT is a good idea?”

This is a 10/10.

Some (most?) would forget the words. Some would totally suck. Sometimes kids would do it and it would be adorable. The amount of social-media moments you’d get from this would be astronomical.

I’m not even asking for money from this great idea, I just want to see it happen.

Pre UC Twilight 2017

Tonight is the annual Ursinus Twilight meet where alumni and current athletes race each other in a 3200m.

A month ago I wrote this post about how great running was going. One line stands out:

“My leg is no trouble at all!”

Literally the next day I woke up and my leg hurt on every step. I took 10 days very easy and then have been doing the usual 35 MPW since then.

Last year I ran 9:49 at this meet, and ran I 9:44 a couple months ago. I haven’t raced in ~3 months so it’s hard to really say what kind of shape I’m in. If I was a betting man, I’d put the over under at like 9:54 and I’ll lose to some kids on the team.

The real benefit of the meet is hanging out with the alums. The race is just the appetizer, cause we’re going to ABC and getting HAMMERED after the race which will be fun.

My Eagles Expectations

The Eagles should make the Super Bowl, and I expect them to.

Them going after Ajayi today confirms the front office feels the same way.

The Eagles and Seattle are the two NFC contenders right now. The Eagles are not only a game up, but they’re more balanced as a team.

According to FiveThirtyEight, the Eagles are favored in all but two of their remaining eight games:

  • +1.5 in Dallas. I expect this to change and the Eagles to be favored since Zeke is suspended (for now).
  • +2.5 in Seattle. This could be huge for tie-breaker implications.
Me putting money on the Birds

If the Eagles only win the games they’re favored in, they finish 13-3 which likely clinches home field throughout the playoffs. And if they beat Seattle in Seattle they all but guarantee home field.

They’d be favored at home against every NFC team in round 2 of the playoffs as well as the NFC Championship.

The NFL is a week-to-week league, but barring any other significant injuries, you should expect a Super Bowl appearance.

Jinxes are bullshit. Superstition isn’t real. Nothing is guaranteed for next year. Don’t be scared to get your expectations up.

The time for the Eagles is NOW.

We’ve all been crushed a dozen times before anyway… but this year is different for the Eagles.

NFL Week 8 2017 – LOCK OF THE WEEK

Not only did I hit my lock last week, but I also gave lock-status to Jazz -10 vs. Lakers last night which they covered by 5.

Lock of the Week – Hotlanta Falcons – 6 at New York Jets

Lock of the weekAtlanta looked about as bad as possible last week putting up only 7 points against one of the worst defenses in the league.

The Jets have been way more competitive than anyone expected.

The weather is going to be shitty in New Jersey which should narrow the line.

Matt Ryan is on everyone’s sit-em list for fantasy BUT THOSE PEOPLE DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT. RISE UP ATLANTA!