Dangers of a Massage

Yesterday Hayley and I got an hour long couples massage. I don’t have a lot of massage experience, and my back / body is pretty sensitive when you start pressing with your fingers, but I was looking forward to it.

My thoughts going in

I had a couple of thoughts going in, like “this will be fun” and “what a thoughtful gift”, but one dominated them all – I really hope I don’t get a boner. I could not shake the idea that I would pop wood during this massage. There were two thoughts. How do I avoid getting one, and what do I do if I get one?

How do I avoid getting one – I don’t freakin’ know. Similar to scary movies, when you say “Okay, don’t think about it, don’t think about it“, then it becomes the only thing you think about. I figured I’d try my best.

What do I do if I get one – “Heh, you’re pretty good” or “Oops, you don’t have to massage that” or just not say anything at all. I had no idea what I would say. I just crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

My thoughts afterward

That was very relaxing, and thank freakin’ god I didn’t get a boner.

But seriously, the entire experience was very enjoyable. They set the mood with the dark room, candles, light music, two heated massage boards, and nice smells. The pressure of the massage was right at my threshold, which was perfect. Surprisingly, the things that felt the best were my feet, my hands, and my head.

After going through the whole process, I think much fewer people get boners than I initially thought. Things aren’t really arousing or funny or anything, you’re just relaxed with not much on your mind. What a relief.

Death of a Blogger

Over the years I’ve seen a lot of people start a blog, only to burn out, and eventually throw in the towel.

We should mourn perhaps the most influential of them all, Gourlaysgoodies.

With a whopping seven posts in March, zero in the last ten days, and none on the horizon, it might be the end GG.

Let the good times roll
Let the good times roll

I still check in multiple times a day, every day. Every time the realization becomes a little more clear, like a girl who can’t get over her ex… he’s not coming back, is he?

His unique writing style changed how Tom and I do our blogging, and he even had some good material for a little bit. He simultaneously insisted that no one cared about his blog, and that it was the best one in the world.

Although the posts may stop coming, his weiner never does. May your spirit live on, Gourlaysgoodies.

The Good, The Bad, and the Old

Watching old people try to “keep up with the times” is concerning. I’m worried that’s going to be me in 40 years. I say this because of two recent examples.

Example 1

As a meeting was ending, a younger guy on the phone said “A’ight“, humorously confirming that he understood everything we talked about.

A ~65 year old woman in the meeting said, “What’s that? Go ahead Chad” thinking he started to say something, but stopped.

We explained that he just said “A’ight” and didn’t have more to say.

She said “Ahh, that’s funny. He said ‘Aye’, like A-Y-E, ” as in what Canadians or Scottish people say.  We didn’t bother explaining to her that she was wrong, because she would obviously not get what A’ight is or means.

Example 2

In another meeting, an older guy, again about ~65, was trying to do a Google search for probably 15 minutes coming up with no good results. He was trying to see if optional fields made a difference in form completion rate compared to required fields.

Here’s what I would’ve typed to get the results he was looking for: “required vs optional fields on form results

Here’s an example of what he typed: “Does having certain fields as optional on a web form increase the completion percentage of the form when compared to those same fields being required

“I have no idea what I’m doing!”

He must have tried 10 different variations of that second sentence, and was baffled that there wasn’t more research on the subject. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that his search was about eight times longer than it should be. The point being, he doesn’t have a good grasp on how search engines work. I thought about explaining the idea of key words but figured it wasn’t worth it.

Will this happen to all of us sooner or later?

I think it’s inevitable. I don’t know why older folks don’t catch on or keep up with new things very well, but it’s an obvious trend. I think the biggest reason is that people simply don’t feel like explaining things. Second is that they’re set in their ways and don’t like change.

At the tender age of 23 I sometimes feel out of the loop with the younger generation and things they can do that I can’t. I can only imagine what it will be like 40 years from now.

 

Stranded

At this very moment, how many people on this earth do you think are stranded on a deserted island waiting to be rescued? I saw this on a forum. There’s 7+ billion people aren’t earth. I’d be shocked if there weren’t a handful that fit this description.

As I type this sentence, there could be someone who was in a shipwreck or plane crash within the last week or last decade 100% stuck on an island. I’m here writing a blog, and he or she is there saying, “God fucking damnit this is awful. Why did this happen to me“.

What are they thinking? What do they do? What little things from life before the island do they miss the most? Do they have fun? Have their family and friends moved on? How much longer do/can they go until they an hero? There are so many moments that only this one person will know for the rest of time. They won’t be able to tell anyone about the massive dump they took.

Maybe there’s none right now, and this is all BS. But go back 100 years and I bet there are multiple people who have found themselves in this situation.

 

Misterwives

You may know their single Reflections, which is an A. They released their first full album about a month ago and I gave it a listen last week. I like it a lot. They seem to be getting bigger and bigger.

Here’s a song that I find very good. I would put more, but more than one song is intimidating. If I put just one, there’s a chance you might actually listen.

Mandy LeeIt should also be noted that I find the lead singer, Mandy Lee, very attractive, and think she has a very unique, but great voice.

My previous singer crush was Lauren Mayberry (lead singer of CHVRCHES), but she lacks charisma. Mandy Lee has energy and stage presence out the whazoo. She’s on par or even above with Hayley Williams at the moment (who I should note is the #2 Hayley).

Lake of Piranhas

Bees are still my #1 fear, but if it was between being in a room with a bee hive or jumping in this lake, I might actually choose the beehive.

Vege Sammich

I got an idea to make a sandwich that was not only tasty, but healthy. I recently tweeted that peanut butter goes well with EVERY vegetable, and I put that to the test tonight. Below is a picture of my appetizer tonight:

IMG_0399Spinach, carrots, and peanut butter on toast.

It was average. The carrots pose the biggest problem because they’re too hard to bite through, and they dominate the in-mouth experience. It’s hard to tell that there’s bread, spinach, and peanut butter because chewing the carrots is priority #1.

Overall though, it’s a nice little way to get the veges in, and I doubt this is my last time doing it, but nothing ground-breaking.

Creativity – 7/10
Execution – 6/10
Result – 4/10

 

The Time I Met Henry Sims

*Update. To those doubting if it’s Henry Sims, C’MON! Look at the comparison:

Simms

You’re probably wondering how I met Henry Sims. You’re also probably wondering who the hell is Henry Sims.

Dan recognized him in the city on Saturday, and said “I think that’s Henry Sims“. He looked about 6’10, and I thought to myself, “there’s no way I’m passing up another opportunity after missing out on Matt Stafford“.

Embedded image permalinkI followed him into a really nice restaurant, went over to the table where he was just seated, and said “Hi. Are you Henry Sims?” He said yup, and I gushed for 30 seconds, snagged a picture, then left. It was so significant that that is my last clear memory of Saturday night.

He makes $1.7 million dollars a year. He also probably doesn’t have people recognize him very much because he’s not a spectacular player, but I finally met a freakin’ professional athlete. I’d say he’s the third most famous person I’ve ever met, the first being Jim Boeheim and the second being Gourlay.

He looks pretty happy in the picture, kind of like I’m the celebrity and he’s the one excited to meet me.

Go Sixers!!!

Job Interview

“So, what would you say is your biggest flaw?”

“I’d probably say honesty.”

“I don’t think honesty is a flaw.”

“I don’t give a fuck what you think.”

Technology has Ruined…

Curt Shilling recently tweeted about his 17 year old daughter, and some guys tweeted back some really vulgar and sexual things. Shilling then owned them by calling them out publicly in a blog post.

A girl posted Shilling’s blog link on her Facebook with a status of:

brilliant! technology has ruined guys of this generation..

Since no one else is defending the white males these days, It looks like I have to!!!

But seriously, “technology has ruined guys of this generation..” What does that even mean? You’re saying Twitter makes guys want to fist girls and tell everyone about it?

The perverts and freaks have ALWAYS been around. Technology, and specifically social media, has just given them a platform to say things like this, as it has for everyone.

I can speak from experience. As someone who frequents 4chan, I see A LOT of messed up things. 4chan has not made me like trannies or gore just because I’ve seen it. Maybe I’m desensitized a bit, but I wouldn’t say it’s “ruined” me.

And I like how this only applies to men, “guys of this generation“. If that’s the logic, then technology has also “ruined girls of this generation“. Look at the following:

Relatable

This tweet got freakin’ 32k likes and 18k retweets. Be nice because the nerd from middle school might end up being really hot, because that’s all girls should care about, right? WRONG! A lot of girls favorited this, but a lot of girls also said (paraphrase) “How about be nice to people because it’s the right thing to do“. Saying all girls are ruined because thousands of them support the idea of being nice to people just in case they become attractive would be false.

Technology gives everyone a voice. It hasn’t “ruined guys” or girls. And if it has, it applies to both men and women.

Be happy that justice was served.