Obligatory Post on Today’s Marriage Ruling

I was not aware that today would be as historic as it seems to be. Same-sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states.

If you don’t support this you’re likely one of two things:

  • Someone who thinks that lesbians, gays, bis, and transexuals are on a lower level than you as humans.
  • Someone who thinks marriage is between a man and a woman because the bible says so.

The first group is just prejudice, and the second group is one I can’t even come close to identifying with.

When it comes to topics like this, I’m more anti-the people who discriminate than pro-the people who are being discriminated against. I like gays, lesbians, etc. and think they should be treated 100% the same as anyone else. But I cannot stand people using irrational thought, especially religion, to justify treating people differently.

As a whole, it’s not about breaking through the barriers that oppress this one group, it’s about removing the people who put up the barriers in the first place. Obviously today is a great step for LGBT, but it’s about society as a whole, not just one group.

So on this day, I commend America for doing what’s right. Gourlay and I can finally get married.

Another One of These – Mile Trial Result

Well it’s over. I ran a full mile at the Roxborough track this evening in 4:38.70.

The Trial
It was good weather, and the track was filled with people who think lane 1 is for walking (hobby jogger move). Hayley came to support and provide an additional watch (she had 4:38.70, I had 4:38.65).

My splits were 71 (first 409), 71, 68, 68.

My thoughts
I’m pretty pleasantly surprised here. I’d say I lost maybe .5 from having to run around people, but it wasn’t FAT, so 4:38 mid is just right. The splits were slightly uneven, 2:20 2:16 for each half (minus first 9 meters), but not much time to be gained there I don’t think.

I wasn’t expecting to run that fast alone. I would have been okay with a 4:44 or something, but 4:38.7 solo is actually pretty good. Less than 5 seconds off my PR in a time trial. Dare I say it? I actually think I can PR in the mile with some competition.

Yay sports!

Another One of These – Mile Time Trial

I was supposed to race a mile on the track yesterday. Due to the weather, the meet was canceled. So instead, I’m going to do what I always do, and run a time trial on the track.

Note – this will be a full mile, not 1600.

My goal is to break 4:40. I’m going to try to run straight 70s with a kick.

I’ve taken training relatively seriously. Been averaging 35-45 miles with one or two hard efforts each week for about 3 months. I’d guess I was in 4:35 – 4:40 shape a month ago. Now, I’m not so sure. I haven’t been feeling so hot lately, but I planned to race, so I’m going to race.

I honestly think I’ll struggle to break 4:40, but that’s the only thing worth shooting for.

Have at it.

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Technology > Humans

I’ve been in Manayunk for almost exactly a year. During this time, I’ve taken the same route to work every day.

For some reason, I decided to Google Map my trip from Dexter Street to my place of employment.

crabs squintI couldn’t believe it. Google Maps was trying to say that the route I’ve been taking, which was handed down to me from someone who also lived in Manayunk for multiple years, wasn’t the fastest route?! I was fishy to say the least.

It had to be tested.

It was tested, and it passed.

thumbs upI cut 5-10 minutes off my drive each way. It doesn’t sound like much, but this is like the most exciting thing that has happened to me in the last week. It’s amazing. I’m literally looking forward to driving to work tomorrow just to see how long it takes me to get there.

What’s the moral of the story? People try to say that the human element is necessary and that machines can’t do everything. Well those people are idiots. Go with what technology says every time. It’s way smarter than you.

What is a Hobby Jogger?

What is a Hobby Jogger? The best definition I saw was “You can’t define it, but you know one when you see one.

Below are general examples of things hobby joggers do. Some I agree with, some I don’t.

Red = Hobby Jogger

Orange = Depends

Before I get started – there’s nothing wrong at all with being a Hobby Jogger. This is just a funny topic that I can relate to, so I wrote a post with my thoughts.

Hobby Joggers jog in place while waiting at a stop light.
This inspired the post. This is a tell-tale sign of a hobby jogger. Jogging in place isn’t keeping you loose, you just look stupid. The real-runner move is to stand there pissed off until the light changes.

Hydration BeltHobby Joggers wear a hydration belt.
“Real” runners wouldn’t wear a hydration belt because they don’t think they need one. I’ve never used one, and never will, but I actually think this is okay. If you’re pushing your limits, I encourage making sure you can stay hydrated, nothing wrong with that. But if you’re out for a three mile run around the neighborhood and have one, you’re a hobby jogger.

Hobby Joggers wear headphones during a race.
I don’t wear headphones for a race because I never have and personally, I think I’d run worse. If I was on the start line and saw a skinny guy in a singlet, I’d think he could run. If he put in headphones right before the gun went off, I wouldn’t be worried at all. This leads to my next one.

Phone Arm BandHobby Joggers wear an arm band for their phone.
Some will say any music is a hobby jogger move. I disagree. I agree the armband is weird. I think a small iPod serves the purpose way better. The phone is clunky, and you can probably tell when you’re getting texts or calls. I don’t want that on my mind while running. I want to be disconnected from everything.

Hobby Joggers race to COMPLETE, not to COMPETE.
This one is simple. You don’t have to be a 2:20 marathoner to compete. If you have a goal of breaking 3:45:00 in the marathon or 25:00 in the 5k, you’re competing. But when you enter the race with the mindset of “I just want to get to the end so I can stop and say I did it“, that’s a hobby jogger move.

Hobby Joggers post their runs / paces to social media when they finished them.
The point of running is not to brag to your social group. This act is strictly a method of “look what I did“. No one cares.

Hobby Joggers wear Vibrams.
Most would expect the opposite here. If you’re wearing Vibrams because they prevent injury and are comfortable, that’s 100% acceptable. If you’re wearing Vibrams because you read about them in Runner’s World, then you’re a hobby jogger.

Hobby Joggers have 13.1 or 26.2 bumper stickers on their car.
I don’t like bumper stickers. Do you know how many Americans completed a half marathon or marathon last year? 1.96 million and 540,000 respectively. 2 million did it, 20 million more could do it. Imagine if I took a shit in the Schuylkill River. I bet only a handful of people have done it, but any could do it. I’m not going to brag about that.

Any other examples?

Top 3 Overplayed Songs of the Month – June ’15

I’m going to do a post like this once a month. No specific criteria, just my thoughts.

Cecilia and the Satellite – Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness
It’s a song about his daughter. He’s the scientist, and he launched his daughter Cecilia into space like a satellite and never saw her again, “Seeyuhlater!

But seriously,  how is this still being played every 10th song? It was released as a single 11 months ago. It’s a good song, and I like Andrew McMahon, but I’ve been on insta-change for the past three months. Enough is enough. 

I Bet My Life – Imagine Dragons
I don’t like this song. I never liked this song. It was a single release from a dud sophomore album after a stunner first album from Imagine Dragons. It’s being played on name alone. If this was released by all but a select few huge alternative bands, it wouldn’t (and shouldn’t) get play time. At least that’s my opinion.

From Eden – Hozier
I like Hozier a lot, I think he’s great. I think From Eden is okay. However, I think Jackie and Wilson and Someone New are both better songs off of his album that are being neglected. This song never did it for me, and I was surprised to see that this has become a radio hit. Of all the Hozier songs, this one took off after Take Me to Church, and I don’t get it.

Stortz Cat Update – Two Down, Two Left

On this day, June 19, 2015, the Stortz family has two less cats than it did three weeks ago. Losing a pet is never easy. Losing two is equally troubling.


Happier days

We adopted Kally from my sixth grade teacher. She was a total bitch. She got along with zero cats, and clawed and hissed if you rubbed her the wrong way, literally.

But Kally had a sweet side too. She loved to cuddle, and had the softest fur of any Stortz cat. Her death makes me sad, and as with Trooper, I didn’t know it was coming.


Our last hello

With Winslow, I knew it was the end. I pulled into the driveway yesterday and there was a light rain falling. Winslow was just sitting in the driveway soaked. She’d been deaf for a while, but just yesterday was the first I time I’d notice that her vision was almost completely gone too.

JC came home and informed me that she was being put down that night. It was sad. I took her inside, dried her off, gave her as much food as she could eat, and then tried to keep her comfortable for the last time that I’d see her. I gave her one last pet on the head, said goodbye, and I’ll never see her again. 17 years is a long life for a cat.

Right now, there are two cats left – Elvis and Sneezy.

I never thought of what life would be like without any cats. I’ll hate it. I’ll want to get one. When I grow up, and have kids, I’m going to start my own Kitty Kingdom.

My App-ologies

My dad said he’s not an “App guy“. New apps are scary. Young people adapt due to FOMO. Old people think FOMO is the newest terrorist group.

Here are my bad experiences when starting new apps.

Facebook – I got Facebook in 10th grade and would routinely send direct messages to people I kind of knew because I thought it was similar to AIM.

Twitter – My very first tweet literally started with “@nickpane”. I didn’t realize people had Twitter handles, not just their name. Needless to say I didn’t get a response from him.

Shazaam – Gourlay went into the beer store for a case. I sat in the car and started singing the guitar intro to Crazy Train into my phone to see if Shazaam would pick it up.

Candy Crush – I didn’t have one bad experience with this app, I had about a million. This game sucked up two years of my life because of how god damn stupid I am.

Touch Tunes – I put $10 into the bar Big Heads which I’ve been to exactly one time because I thought you could use credits between bars. I played Beast of Burden and then left.

Snapchat – I set a poop snap as my story without realizing EVERYONE could see it. That didn’t actually happen, but I guarantee someone has done that because they didn’t understand the app.

Spotify – I had under 15 songs on my playlist for over a month because I didn’t think you could add unlimited songs with the free version. Over a year later I’m still too cheap to invest in the premium version despite the obvious benefits. Your free product is too good!