NFL 2015 – Pre-Season Predictions

The NFL Season is finally here! What better way to look like an asshole than jump to conclusions and make your predictions way too early?

NFC Championship Game

Philadelphia Ealges (12-4) vs. Seattle Seahawks (11-5)

After a rocky start, the Seahawks will round into form like a team who’s been to back-to-back Super Bowls. The Eagles will start hot (7-1) and cool slightly towards the end as teams “figure them out” and they ease off the gas with the NFC East locked up.

EaglesLike the Phillies run from ’08-’10 (WS win, WS loss, NLCS loss), the Seahawks are on the way down. The Eagles, at home, will take it to Seattle in a surprisingly easy win. Chip and the boys will be firing on all cylinders, and the slowly disintegrating Seahawks team will go back to the drawing board.

AFC Championship Game

Indianapolis Colts (13-3) vs. New England Patriots (12-4)

Surviving hard playoff pushes from the Steelers and Dolphins, these two meet again in the AFC Championship Game.

I’d like to stick to my guns and say that Brady will take care of business, but the torch must be handed over sooner or later. I think this is the year that Luck gets over the hump. It will be close, as the Pats always seem to pwn the Colts, but the Colts will have home-field advantage because of an easy division (plus the Pats won’t cake-walk through the AFC East like normal), and finally take down Brady and the boys.

Super Bowl

Indianapolis Colts (13-3) vs. Philadelphia Ealges (12-4)

ChipI’ve come this far… The Philadelphia Eagles will be Super Bowl 50 Champions. Do you buy into the hype? I do. They’ll be the most fun team to watch in the NFL. They’ll suck it up now and then, but they’ll always score points. Chip is going HAM and doesn’t really give a fuck what people think. The defense is better than last year, and if the new parts on offense get it right (and Bradford stays on his feet), they’re going to crush a lot of teams.

Take these to the bank.

Players Deck Ref

You’ve got to wonder what the kids were thinking. Did they think they’d get away with it? Did they think no one would see? Why in the world would you do that? The second kid was almost more obvious than the first.

More and more it seems clear that the short-term satisfaction you gain from violence never outweighs the long-term consequences. But it is pretty funny.

The Big Crunch

Everyone knows the Big Bang Theory (like, science, not the shitty TV show) as a “likely” way that the Universe began. But how will the Universe “end”? There are different theories, but here’s one I heard recently that I found interesting.

The Big Crunch

As far as we know, the Universe has been expanding since the Big Bang. While a commonly accepted theory is that the Universe will continue to expand forever, there’s another theory called the Big Crunch.

ScienceIt says that at some point, depending on density (science), the Universe will stop expanding, and begin to collapse in on itself. Over some giant period of time, everything that once existed in the Universe will join into black holes which then turns into a massive black hole and ultimately singularity where all of the matter in the Universe is joined into one point.

Why does this sound familiar? Well it sounds like that’s how the Universe began (the Big Bang). And one theory goes that as soon as the Universe reaches singularity again, the Big Bang happens… again.Big Crunch

So what does this mean?

  • A big bang happens
  • A universe expands for billions of years
  • Stars and rocks and life and stuff happen
  • The universe begins to collapse
  • The stars and rocks and people die
  • It reaches singularity
  • It big bangs again

We could be on our billionth cycle of this. There could have existed a Universe in the past where everything happened the same except I was banging Taylor Swift, or that Tom Brady had 10 Super Bowl rings (that might end up being this Universe). Or, this could be the very first cycle, we have no idea.

Thinking about the ultimate fate of the Universe is interesting. For some reason, as a human, the Big Crunch, gives me much greater peace of mind than say, the Big Freeze, which is where (from Wikipedia) – “The universe reaches a state in which the temperature approaches a uniform value, and no further work will be possible, resulting in a final heat death of the universe.”

Gotta be pulling for the Big Crunch!

Brady is Free!

Tom Brady’s four game suspension from Deflategate has been overturned.

As you can see from my fantasy draft post, I made a huge mistake taking Romo over Brady.

TomDid anyone doubt Brady here? Not whether he deflated the footballs or not (of course he did), but whether he’d win this case or not?

The answer is yes. People did doubt him, and thought he’d serve a four game suspension. Many people are pissed, upset, baffled, etc. with this ruling.

It’s mind blowing to me that some people still think Brady will lose things, anything.

Here’s a list of scenarios where I’d bet the Brady money line every time:

  • A 100m race against Bolt
  • A drink off with Andre the Giant
  • A staring contest with Bill Belichick
  • An 11 v 1 two minute drive of Brady vs. the Seahawks (both offense and defense)

What can’t this guy do?

But in all honesty, I support the decision to nullify the suspension. Mark Schlereth said it best, you’re trying to put Brady in jail for going 72 in a 65. Furthermore, they didn’t have a radar gun, they just said it looked like he was driving too fast.

The independent report was BS. It was weak “evidence” and it wasn’t independent. Goodell is a joke.

Tom 2Rob said the whole time that Brady would serve zero games, and he was right while many others were wrong. Rob is now saying that, just like spygate, the Pats are pissed and they’re going to show the haters who’s boss. 16-0? Brady MVP? Fifth Super Bowl? I wouldn’t bet against any of those.


Grade My Fantasy Football Team – 2015

Things to know about the league:

  • 1 QB, 2 WR, 2 RB, 1 TE, 1 WR/RB, 1 K, 1 D/ST
  • .5 PPR
  • QB throwing TDs = 4
  • QB rushing TDs  = 6
  • INTs = -2

My Draft

Round Pick Player
1 11 Dez Bryant (Dal – WR)
2 14 Matt Forte (Chi – RB)
3 35 Mike Evans (TB – WR)
4 38 Melvin Gordon (SD – RB)
5 59 Travis Kelce (KC – TE)
6 62 LeGarrette Blount (NE – RB)
7 83 Tony Romo (Dal – QB)
8 86 Roddy White (Atl – WR)
9 107 Devin Funchess (Car – WR)
10 110 Tre Mason (StL – RB)
11 131 Julius Thomas (Jax – TE)
12 134 Colin Kaepernick (SF – QB)
13 155 Green Bay (GB – DEF)
14 158 Cole Beasley (Dal – WR)
15 179 Matt Prater (Det – K)

Yesterday was my birthday.

I’m not big on birthdays. This year I even took it off of Facebook so I didn’t get the random kid from high school that I haven’t talked to in 6 years, or Rudy, writing “happy birthday” on my wall.

Although my birthday made very little social media presence, it must have been more exciting in real life, right?


Yesterday was a pretty bad day. Here’s my day in a nutshell:

  • Didn’t go out on Saturday night into Sunday.
  • Woke up at 7:30 to watch the final day of World’s.
  • Got breakfast with Laura in Philly and walked around (best part of the day).
  • Played Resident Evil 4 for an hour and a half with Alex.
  • Napped for 30 minutes.
  • Spent $70 at Target on new clothes, a loaf of bread, carrots, and ground beef.
  • Bought a 4 inch chicken parm from Wawa.
  • Went to the driving range alone and had an awful time. Everything sliced right.
  • Napped again – this one for an hour and a half.
  • Made dinner and talked to my Austrian neighbor for an hour.
  • Went to bed.

Birthday Bear

To be honest, the whole experience was kind of depressing. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t go out on a Friday or Saturday night, or the last time that I had zero drinks on my birthday.

Long story short, blow up your birthday on Facebook as much as possible. Soak in the in-genuine wall posts. Get hammered. Do all the superficial things that people complain about. Birthday’s suck.

Wait until I turn a billion (seconds). I’m going to invite a billion people over and drink a billion beers and run a billion miles. That’s going to be the best birthday ever. Only like 250 million more seconds.

Top 3 Overplayed Songs of the Month – August ’15

Cheerleader – OMI

OmiIt’s slow, it’s boring, and the guy sounds like an auto-tuned fart. The only thing that makes this song bearable is that jazzy trumpet in the chorus, there’s something to that little riff.

If you’ve heard the first minute you’ve heard the entire song. I don’t get how songs like this get popular to start. What was so good the first time around that it had to be played over and over?

Honey, I’m Good – Andy Grammar

GrammarAndy Grammar apparently wrote this song because there are so many songs about guys banging lots of girls or cheating on their significant others, and he wanted to write one that gave guys credit for walking away. That’s actually not a bad idea for a song. Furthermore, it’s catchy. It’s easy to fall into the first time you hear it as your typical catchy pop song.

I thought it was meh when I first heard it. Pretty typical pop hit. Because it’s so poppy and catchy, once it hits the ears of the mindless drones, whether for the tenth time or the ten thousandth time, they let it play on. And because of that, it’s gone.

Can’t Feel My Face – The Weeknd

I actually like this song. Scott and I were talking about it, and both agreed that it was about drug use, but then he went off on some tangent about how it could be about an abusive relationship where the girl is beating the shit out of the guy and his face is constantly numb. Right…

It’s a fine song and one you find singing to yourself without even realizing, but stations are having a field day with this one.

Usain Bolt Goes Down

He crushed Gatlin in the 100m and 200m, but he definitely didn’t see this one coming.

I Need a Ruling on a Violation

Here’s what happened.

A co-worker and I were talking about something work related as we walked to the bathroom. Like guys do, we continued our conversation while peeing at the urinal. Things we’re going great. And then he made a horrible decision.

I was mid-sentence and he ripped a fart so loud that my ears started ringing.

batman lolI burst out laughing. He looked at me with a small smile, but no laughter. We washed our hands and walked back to our desk. The entire time we attempted to hold the conversation, but it was useless. I couldn’t get more than a few words in each time without laughing. He was clearly getting annoyed, but fortunately he split off to his desk, and I proceeded to mine where I laughed for the next 10 minutes.

My question is, who’s in the wrong here?

If I had to fart at the urinal and there was another guy there, I would hold it in. I would especially hold it in if I was talking to the guy.

How can he expect anyone, let alone an immature 23 year old, to carry-on as if nothing happened?

Please, back me up here.

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Chase Utley as a Phillie

ChaseChase Utley was recently traded from the Phillies to the Dodgers. Philadelphia collectively cried.

He was a huge part of the Phillies power-house stretch from 2007 – 2011, specifically the 2008 World Series win against the Rays, and the 2009 World Series loss to the Yankees where he tied Reggie Jackson for most home-runs in a World Series with 5.

With his departure, people have looked back to recap his long career as a Phillie. I’ve heard that he’s definitely a top 10 Phillies player of the modern era, and likely even a top 5.

I don’t know baseball. Can someone explain this to me? I’m not saying he shouldn’t be, but his stats don’t stand as amazing, do they?:

  • A batting average of .282 (two seasons over .300)
  • Averaged 95 RBI per 162 games (four seasons over 100)
  • Average of 24 home runs per 162 games.

I know he plays second, so he’s not supposed to be all power, but are those numbers really that much better than the other good second basemen? Does it have to do with his leadership (did he have any)? His attitude? His fielding? His post-season play? Do the Phillies just not have a great history of all-time great players?

I genuinely don’t know. I don’t follow baseball that closely, but from what I understand, he’s not even a shoo-in for the hall-of-fame, so how can he be a top-5 Phillie?