Note – If you’re a girl, don’t read this because A) you (hopefully) won’t have any valuable input and B) it’s embarrassing.
I started wearing compression shorts on runs to help chaffing. It’s helped with that aspect, but, I’ve run into an unexpected problem.
The Problem – I cannot find a good place to put my weiner when running in compression shorts.
Naturally it goes to either side, left or right (mostly left). But after a couple minutes of running it settles in a weird spot and starts to sting the top of my Johnson. When this happens, I adjust it upward a little bit, but after a few minutes it happens again.
So what do I do? Well I’ve already tried horizontal movement, let’s try vertical! I tuck the sucker straight up and the compression holds it there. This feels fine, however, it only takes a minute until it settles back down to one of the sides.
The best solution I have thus far is putting it straight down.
This is not natural. It would never settle straight down in the compression shorts. But this kind of works. It’s not particularly comfortable, and it can end up on either side after a bit, but overall it’s a decent mix of staying still and no pain.
For whatever reason, taping it to the side of my leg and putting a guard around it seems like the only logical solution.
However, I know that thousands of runners run in compression shorts every day and do not have this problem. So I’m turning to you, my readers, to ask for solutions, whether obvious, out-of-the-box, or totally unrealistic. Have at it.
Sober weekends are actually kind of awesome. Here’s how my weekend went:
After work, I headed to Ursinus. I ran the 3200m race in 10:13 and got third which was around what I expected. Props to Drew who closed in 61 FTW, and Joe who was the only one who went with the rabbit after a mile. Hayley attended her first track meet and said that it was actually fun, so there’s that too!
It was also Tom’s birthday. Happy birthday Tom!
I had a 5k road race for work that started at 8:30AM. The gun went off, one guy said “Seeyuhlater!“, and I got second place by 47 seconds. He ran 15:44 which was impressively fast to my 16:31. If I didn’t race a two mile 12 hours before, he would have crushed me by only 37 seconds.
After the race Hayley and I went bowling with Tom and a fourth for his birthday. There were about a dozen kids between the age of zero and eight there and it confirmed that kids suck and are stupid.
The rest of Saturday was relaxed. I was pooped after my two races, and we were all for hanging in.
We woke up early and not hung-over. It’s really an incredible difference not drinking and staying up late. I woke up early feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day. Granted I didn’t do much aside from an easy 8 miler and a lot of football, but it was way better than being hungover all day.
Also, a major note, not only did I go 3/3 on my picks of the week, but all three picks were underdogs, and all three won outright. I may be on to something here!
Tonight is the UC Fall Twilight. It’s a fall track meet at Ursinus that current UC athletes, alumni, and open runners will participate in. There will be an open 3k, an open 5k, and elite 3200, and an Ursinus 3200m.
Track meets are awesome in my opinion. Since I’ve been to so many I don’t really consider what an outsiders perspective would be. Tonight, Hayley will be attending her first track meet, so I’m very interested to hear what someone who has never been to one thinks. If the blog readers command it, she may even consider writing a guest post!
Anyway, the races should be fun to watch and even more fun to compete in. As for me personally, I’m in good shape but not race shape, and certainly not 3200m race shape. But there’s nothing like running a race on the track.
So if you’re not doing anything tonight, come to Ursinus and watch the races!
I was in a sales reps office today – “We need to send this out, like, as soon as possible.” – when someone poked their head in the office and said “We just heard that [insert our co-worker’s name who’s been battling cancer] passed away today.”
The conversation took a turn from there. After going over the details for a minute, the sales rep turned to me and said “That’s what’s important, not those emails. Don’t worry about the emails.”
I didn’t know our co-worker well, so this won’t weigh particularly heavy on me, but it seems that every so often “life” pops its head up and reminds everyone that there’s more to it than work, drinking, hobbies, etc.
I’ve said before that I haven’t experienced anything really tragic in my life. But it is interesting to think that basically every person who dies has family and friends who will never forget them.
It makes me think; do I really want to be remembered as the kid who got too drunk too often, or wasted all his time playing video games?
No, I want to be remembered as the kid who won the UCXC case race two years in a row, the second year with me and all girls when no one gave us a chance, and the best damn guitar hero player you’ve ever met.
There’s no reason to trust me at this point. I’ll even admit I confuse myself when writing these things. But I’m going to follow through with what I started.
NOTE: I’ve revised my picks!
NFL Week 9 Pick of the Week: San Francisco +7 vs. Atlanta
Other games to keep an eye on:
Carolina +2.5 vs. Green Bay
Colts +5 vs. Broncos
P.S. I should mention the Patriots -14 over Washington. The line could be 20 and I’d still take the Patriots. The reason it’s not included in my picks is because it doesn’t follow the logic (or lack thereof) that I’m trying to follow, meaning, -14 is about what I’d expect.
Satchel and Shiloh were back from Gayville to visit their buddies on the East Coast. Wacker and I went to Rob’s for a pregame and were greeted by the Summers’ boys. They both have long hair and act like they’re in college.
I hadn’t seen them for over two years but we fell back into our old routine with ease and caught up on our lives. Then we went to a house party in Philly and Satchel got way too drunk. Wacker and I pooned out and Ubered home early.
The plan for Saturday was to drink and celebrate Alex’s birthday (which was Sunday). I dressed up as a runner, it was lame. We pregamed, went to a house party, then went to a bar and it was actually a really good time. I managed to brown out, and ultimately brought a stray cat into our house. I’m pretty sure Alex had a blast too.
This is where the post gets awesome. I went to Ursinus on Sunday afternoon. Slade, Drew, Simoncini and I went to ABC for lunch, and then bro’d out for a while. Did I mention Simoncini was there?
The trip concluded with a fantastic game of HORSE and Around the World between me and Drew. Drew was cold from beyond the arc and my trick shots were hitting, score 1 for me. After HORSE, we decided that Around the World was a more “fair” game, since Drew is a pure shooter, not a trick shooter.
I’m not a great shooter. Drew is typically a pretty good shooter. Drew put on potentially the worst display of shooting from anyone I’ve ever seen ever. He couldn’t hit a barn door with a banjo. I won after enough tries, though he did close out our session by going 7/9 from three point land.
Afterward I went 0-3 on my NFL picks, it was awesome, I made like a thousand dollars.
@DadBoner has been on fire ever since the NFL season started, a must-follow on twitter. If the tweets below don’t make you laugh, our senses of humor just don’t line up. The last three in particular are gold.