Spawtlight: The Horrible Truth About Boston

very well done remake of the trailer for the movie Spotlight that basically shits on Boston. Pretty funny. I’d be pissed if they made something similar about Philly.

Boston is near the top of my cities to visit. Any readers been there? Should I stay away now!?

Bowling 2.0

Sorry to those who don’t care, but here comes ANOTHER BOWLING POST!!!

Tom and I went to a bowling demo in NJ. After talking with guys who knew way more than we do, I tried a couple of nice balls, and put in a $200 order for one.

As a toast to the death of The House Ball, we purchased five games and bowled away at an alley we’ve never been to.

I started rough. Brunswick Zone’s house balls were different than the South Bowl balls that I’m used to. Then, randomly, in the third game, below happened (full game frames at the bottom):

Bowling

I don’t know why bowling is fun. I spend all this time getting pretty good at things but never really good. Bowling will probably be another one of those.

But as Evan said, that Monday bowling league is one of the highlights of my week every single week. It doesn’t have to be bowling, but I suggest finding some weekly social routine that does the same.

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Batman v Superman the Movie

I’ll start by saying I hate super hero movies.

In my mind, there’s basically no way this movie will be good.

Think about it:

Superman is the best (most lame) super hero of them all.

MontaroUnlimited strength, unmatchable speed, can fly, x-ray vision, super smart, etc. talk about boring. He’s the stupid trump card of He can do everything. It’s like playing Mortal Kombat with the kid who sucks so you let him use Motaro or Shao Kahn and he just button-mashes like 15 donkey-kicks or hammer-slams in a row and you just can’t win. It’s cheap. That’s Superman.

Batman on the other hand, doesn’t even have super powers.

He wears a utility belt. He’s the hobby jogger of super heros. Here’s a few of the items on Batman’s Utility Belt, and how Superman would handle them:Batbelt

  • Batarangs; basically ninja stars – Superman could deflect these with his dick and not even notice.
  • Bat-Darts; tranquilizers –  My guess is you’d need enough tranquilizers to take down a god damn galaxy in order to take down Superman. Batman probably has just enough to take down a woman from the bar.
  • Bat-Lasso; as dumb as it sounds – It’s usually used when a villain is running away. Superman would flex and bust outta here.
  • EMP Grenade; disables electronics up to 7 feet away – So lame. Unless Superman’s brain / muscles are electronics, then he’ll just laugh right before he punches Batman’s dick off.

So what are people going to see this movie for?

The way I see it, this movie should be no longer than 5-10 minutes. If it’s longer because Batman puts up a real fight, then it’s an unrealistic movie, which I hate. Why would I pay $10 to see that?

Has anyone seen this? Am I missing something?

Make Superman vs. Goku, that I would watch. Superman vs. Batman? Pfft.

Chicago Part 2 Recap

I would go into details of the Chicago trip, but it would take too long. So if you’re looking for a slightly more in-depth review, check out Tom’s post.

IMG_1307

Here’s a rapid fire, bulleted list of things we did / thoughts from the trip.

  • We lived March Madness to the fullest by basically watching and betting on every single game. It was awesome.
  • I ended the trip down $70 after about probably 20-30 bets ranging from $8 – $80 in value, which really is a win all things considered.
  • The drinking was non-stop from Thursday to Sunday.
  • There were no real SNAFUs or “situations” which was impressive.
  • The cab / Uber drivers were a riot, from one falling asleep at the wheel at a green light to another saying that “Will you scratch my balls?” was a great line to use on girls.
  • Chicago is massive, noticeably bigger than Philadelphia.
  • It’s a very clean city which is a big plus.
  • When you go on trips like that, you can’t count every penny. A $7 beer, a $20 cab, $40 dinner, etc. are all acceptable.
  • It helps to have a plan if there are things you want to do. We didn’t have a plan, which isn’t bad, but to take in the full experience of a new city, a plan helps.
  • We didn’t try any deep dish, but we did try Michael Jordan’s Steakhouse, which sucked.

And that’s about it!

I’ll hopefully get back to posting regularly shortly.

Chicago Part 2

Tomorrow Tom and I will be flying to Chicago from Philly to meet the Rock for a long weekend vacation. Initially I thought we were actually going to the March Madness games, but I eventually learned that the games aren’t in Chicago the days that they’re there. Whatever.

IMG_0541My first time in Chicago I did all of the touristy things – deep dish, Willis Tower, the bean, etc. – but this time we’re going to get a better feel for the city and it’s social scene / night life.

I don’t have any real expectations. We’re going to drink a lot, watch the games, and see the city. I’m going to throw a few hundred into an account and hope I end in the black. The break from work will be extremely nice too.

I probably won’t be able to post much aside from one or two gambling updates from my phone, so until then, have a great work week.

Bowling With the Best

Last night was a career night for me in bowling.

We were up against the best team in the league and it was quite clear why they’re the best.

Game 1: After 8 frames I said to Jordan that if I struck out, I’d bowl a 213, 1 higher than my PR of 212. Shockingly, I hit four strikes in a row and finished at 213. Our team was competitive, but ultimately lost even getting 92 pins from the handicap.

Game 2: Average all around for the four of us and we actually won the game, as the other team struggled. I bowled a 155.

Game 3: I was on pace for another ~215 but I came up so lame in the 9th and 10th frame by missing easy spares and finished with a 193. Tom turkeyed in the 10th for a 215 to keep our team in it, but we lost the third game AND total pin count by less than 10 pins because Evan and I went open in the 10th.

After fact-checking my PR, I found this gem from four years ago and realized I didn’t actually PR, I tied it. What a 10th from TC!

Bowling

Bowling against that team is a wake-up call. They all average 200+ and even on a bad night, they were able to take 3 out of 4 from us.

 

Donald Trump Answers: Whats 2+2?

“I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, ‘What’s 2+2’? And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We’ve had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my God, I can’t believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. It’s terrible. It’s just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I’ll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way, I love the number 2. It’s probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it’s probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I’m being honest, I mean, if I’m being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he’s a zero that I don’t like. Though, I probably shouldn’t say that. He’s a nice guy but he’s like, ‘10101000101,’ on and on, like that. He’s like a computer! You know what I mean? He’s like a computer. I don’t know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers, and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don’t tell you that, and I’ll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn’t believe it. So, we’re gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me.”

Trump2

From George Takei’s Facebook. I loled, pretty spot on.

Post Fanatic Knockout

KnockoutAfter the Sixers game there were probably 70 people lined up and ready to roll for a good old fashioned game of knock out. I was in the middle of the line and had exactly one warm up shot, which was a miss.

My first shot? Swish, knocked someone out.

Second shot? Boom, another knock out.

Over my first 20 shots or so I probably knocked out 8 or 9 people. I was feelin’ it, and as the group dwindled down, I started to believe I could actually win.

Soon 70 was down to 10.

Then down to 5.

Holy crap, I might actually win this.

Knockout2With 4 left I was up to shoot with the guy behind me ready to go too. Deep breath, and shoot.

I shot, brick. The guy behind me? Brick. I rushed my put back, brick, and just like that, it was over. I was in prime position to win as none of the other 3 seemed particularly good, and I blew it because of something I specifically said not to do before the game.

I was bummed at getting so close and coming up short. 4th out of ~70 is very good, but the trophy / blog post to follow had I won would have been awesome. Regardless, a memory for sure.

I’ll update with the Fanatic’s full video when it’s posted.

Until then, I’ll be practicing in the driveway for next year.

Pre Fanatic Knockout

Tonight is the Sixers vs. Hornets game then the Fanatic Knockout Contest.

Here’s a video of the contest from last year.

I’ve been practicing and I’m confident. My free throw shooting is probably steady around 70% right now which is certainly above average.

Combine that with the fact that I’m A) faster than most who will be there and B) will hustle way harder than most, and I think I have just as good a shot as anyone to win the thing. No foul play is allowed (knocking other balls) which is a bummer, but important to know ahead of time.

The crowd cheering me on tonight.

My strategy is this:

  • Wear running shoes and basketball shorts. No jeans and polo nonsense.
  • Always try to make the first shot.
  • HUSTLE.
  • Follow close on every miss, no standing at the free throw line to see if you make it or not.
  • Taking my time and making the follow-up shot to a miss is way more important than getting the follow-up shot up as fast as possible and potentially missing, that’s how you lose these things.

Other than that, there’s not much to know. There’s definitely chance involved, but I believe. I’ll update tomorrow with video of the contest.