Stage Fright

This problem is becoming worse and worse. I get stage fright while peeing more now than ever before and I don’t know why. I honestly feel like the guy from Waiting who thinks there’s a person outside the stall door saying “I DON’T HEAR ANY PISS!” If I’m completely alone I don’t have a problem but when there’s even a person I know in the bathroom with me, I struggle. Just over the past few weeks have I really started to notice it. It’s the worst at cross country meets. I know I have to go and I just stand at the urinal knowing there’s a line of people behind me thinking “Hurry the fuck up.”

I don’t know if there are any tactical solutions to this. I haven’t experimented with anything but I’d imagine there could be a line you repeat in your head or a song you sing to take your mind off of it. I remember the very first time I really experienced this too. I was Sunday bowling a few summers ago with Tom, Evan, Jordan, and that whole crew. I went to the bathroom to pee and there isn’t a divider between the two stalls. I walked in and was the only one in there. I went about my business as usual and right before blast off a short fat guy came charging in and set up camp at the urinal right next to me. The pee retreated back into my weiner like a scared turtle. I had no idea what was happening but all I knew is that I could not take a piss with this guy right next to me. Since then things have gone downhill. I don’t know why but it’s getting worse and I need to figure it out.

Saturday Break Down

We had a meet at Delaware yesterday. The course was in some park with some really cool running trails but unfortunately it was very hilly. Due to traffic and construction we got there a little late and began warming up as soon as we stepped off the bus. F&M was there and I just wanted to beat their #1 guy but other than that, there wasn’t any real pressure. I had no expectations and wasn’t really nervous at all. There was a number of D1 schools there too so I didn’t expect to be up near the front either.

The race went off and about 1k in I was in 30th place or so with Jatin 5 seconds ahead. The F&M kid came up on me and I ran with him. We caught up to Jatin and all three of us moved up steadily until about 5k. I made a move at 5k and dropped them right before this giant hill. I kept a pretty steady pace and had a solid finish. A kid rolled up on me in the last 1k or so and beat me but other than that I didn’t get passed the last 4 miles. I finished in 9th place overall with a time of 27:31. There wasn’t anything special about the race but it was another solid, consistent performance. I’ve felt good the past 2 races and think the up-coming taper will work its magic.

After that most people went home for fall break but a select few opted to stay and party last night. In the beginning it was just Mark, Wacker, Pane, and I but eventually a few more people came. There wasn’t too much to do but we made a good night out of it. We had a sing along with a strobe light and everything. There is one problem with having a small number of people. The less people, the larger the odds of every single one of them blacking out. I blacked out and I know others did too. We started drinking at 4 so I think everyone just kind of passed out early. Mark woke up on the couch in our room at 3 in the morning and then woke me up too. We went back to bed, woke up again at 7, woke everyone else up, then went to the diner for breakfast.

All in all yesterday was a very good day. I cruised through 12 miles today at around 6:35 pace and I’m currently at my house watching T.V. with Trooper by my side awaiting a home cooked dinner, I couldn’t be happier. I’m going to enjoy the next few days as best as I can.

To Guster

So I wrote a blog a ways back about trends and how everything goes in phases. Right now Guitar Hero is the phase that’s ‘in’ for us in the suite. Musically though, I was in a Chad (Dispatch/State Radio) and O.A.R. phase for a while and it seemed like it was going to stick around but just recently I revisited one of my old favorites, Guster. Guster is one of two bands that I actually have a t-shirt for (the other being Pink Floyd), I bought it at the concert I went to in 12th grade with Mike, Emily, and her friends. There music seems a little on the gay side but for whatever reason I really like it and it never really gets old to me. They’re not a very mainstream band and don’t really get too much attention but I think they deserve some. They haven’t done too much lately but regardless, I still enjoy listening songs like Manifest Destiny, Parachute, Happier, Demons, What You Wish For, Barrel of a Gun, The Captain, the list goes on and on. They remind me of Dr. Dog because they’re just not that well known, but most people who do know them really like them. It makes me wonder how many bands are out there that I would love but just don’t know about. There’s probably a lot.

On a life note, I’ve spent about 11 hours in the library over the past 3 days. This is probably a PR if you exclude finals week so I’m pretty impressed with myself. Now that classes are done until Wednesday, I’m going to take the next couple of days to relax, run a cross country meet, drink a little bit, and listen to Guster.

Home Sweet Home

I’ve had a surprisingly busy week. I had a test yesterday, a midterm today, and I have a project due tomorrow. I started this semester off on a pretty strong note academically but after these two tests, well we’ll just have to wait and see. I just have to get through tonight and then I’m pretty much home free until after fall break.

Speaking of fall break, it’s this weekend I have Monday and Tuesday off which is always nice. I’ll be heading home on Sunday after the meet and a night of partying for a couple of days. The idea of fall break is obviously a good one. No class, time to relax at home, it sounds very good. But then I really think about what I’m going to do at home. Odds are that I’ll go to bed early, watch a good amount of T.V., play a lot of guitar, and that’s pretty much it. That doesn’t sound that wonderful. There really isn’t too much to do at home especially when not everyone else is on fall break. These thoughts make me not look forward to fall break as much.

But then I really really think about it and the idea of going home will never get old. I don’t think I’ll ever get to a point where I’d rather do something else than go home, see my parents, and do nothing but hang out for a while. My old running routes, home cooked meals, all of my cats, the comfort and sentimental value of home will never lose it’s touch. At some point after I graduate my parents will move out of the house I grew up in and I may never get to go there again. I hate that idea. This goes along with the idea of Jeff leaving for a year. While he’s here, there’s no reason to hang out with him because I can do that whenever I want, but when he’s gone, I want to hang out with him and I can’t. It’s the same thing with home, while it’s there I think “what’s so special about home?” but when it’s gone I’ll be wishing I could go back. I guess a new life lesson other than making active decisions will be to enjoy what you have while you have it, don’t take it for granted. Who doesn’t already know that lesson though?

Decisions Decisions

Life is full of decisions. There are some very important decisions that have to be made at some point. For example, food shopping or toilet paper shopping if you live on your own. These things simply have to get done. On the other hand there are decisions that can be put off for a long period of time. They don’t have to be made because they don’t severely affect immediate life. An example of this could be last year when Adam was constantly slamming doors at 7:00 in the morning. It would have been easy to just not say anything and keep being woken up by the door slamming. After a few days though I decided I had to confront him and tell him to stop slamming the door. Another example of this, and the example that inspired this post, could be a medical condition that you assume will go away.

For 10 months now I’ve had what is known as “jock itch” on my inner thighs. For the longest time I assumed it was just chaffing from running and that there was nothing I could do about it. I didn’t want to go and figure out what it was because ignorance is bliss. Well about a month ago Mark took the initiative and diagnosed my problem as jock itch and since then I have made a legit effort to get rid of it. I haven’t scratched it and I’ve been applying this Gold Bond powder that Amos gave me multiple times a day. The results are showing and the jock itch is almost gone. For the longest time I convinced myself that it was getting better and in a few weeks it would go away. Well it took 9 months until SOMEONE ELSE decided to make the decision to look up what my problem was and try to get rid of it. If you had asked me 2 months ago if I wanted to know what it was, I would have said no, but now that I know I couldn’t be happier because it’s actually going away and ACTUALLY in a few weeks it will be completely gone.

What’s the point of this post? Being active in life decision making is almost always a good thing. Don’t put things off and decide not to do anything. Had I let Adam keep slamming the door and avoiding confrontation, I would have lost countless hours of sleep. Making the decision to actually ask him to stop saved me tons of sleep and frustration. Making the decision to find out what was wrong with me has ultimately made my life 100 times better. The decision to not act on something is bad. The mindset of “it will probably fix itself or go away” is a terrible mindset.

Hopefully this whole jock itch dilemma will open my eyes to future things and just make me a better person in general, we’ll see if that actually happens or not.

Celebrity Dream Girls

A while back I did a list of female celebrities that I liked and didn’t like. Well this is sort of like that but these are more my famous dream girls in no particular order.

Hayley Williams

Hayley Williams is the lead singer of the band Paramore. They’ve been around for a few years now and ever since their big single Misery Business, Hayley Williams has been a dream girl of mine. I’m not necessarily into emos or punks or rebellious youths or whatever you would classify her as, but for some reason she hits the nail on the head for me. She’s a very good singer and I actually like the music that the band comes out with. Something about her voice strikes a chord in me. She’s also just a very good looking girl. I don’t know if it’s the hair or what, but she does it. Obviously she’s more on the pale side than I would prefer but she pulls it off. She’s also only 22 years old, I’m 20, that’s a possibility. Unfortunately she’s been in a relationship with Chad Gilbert, the guitarist from New Found Glory, for a few years now.

Emmanuelle Chriqui

Although her real name is listed above (no I don’t know how to pronounce it) she will always be known as Sloane from Entourage to me. I haven’t watched Entourage in ages so this is a little out of nowhere but she was’s #1 most desirable woman in 2010 so obviously she’s still in the mainstream. I’m basing this slightly off of the fact that I liked her acting in Entourage, I thought she did a very good job, but mainly off of the fact that she’s really hot. She’s essentially making a career out of looking really good and she happens to be way tanner than Hayley Williams. She was also in You Don’t Mess With the Zohan which was pretty bad but she was still smokin’ hot in it. She’s apparently single right now but unfortunately she’s 33 years old, otherwise I’m sure we’d get right together.

Lisa Koll

Lisa Koll is now a professional runner who graduated from Iowa State University. She’s a very attractive girl but she’s also very fast. Perhaps she’s too fast because her PR’s are 14:55 in the 5k and 31:18 in the 10k whereas mine are only 15:27 and 32:40. She’s also a 4 time NCAA D1 champion which is a little out of league but that’s the point of this post. Being with a girl that’s faster than me would be a problem because that’s just ridiculous but in actuality this would motivate me to run faster. My goals this year are surprisingly similar to her PR’s at the moment, that’s coincidence. We could do our long runs, workouts, and everything in between together. Her birthday also happens to be August 31st, 1 day after mine. Granted she was born 4 years earlier but still, we could even coordinate our birthday parties together. This post was actually inspired by her because I just found out today that she got married last month. She was my #1 dream runner girl but now that’s gone.


Another Successful Weekend

The Phillies are out of the playoffs, the Eagles suck, and tomorrow is Monday. While I’m actually in a good mood, starting a new week of work is never that fun. One thing I do have to look forward to is fall break which is next weekend. We have off the following Monday and Tuesday so that will be relaxing. This weekend is over but all in all it was a very good weekend.

After the meet on Saturday we started drinking rather early. By 3 o’clock or so we started some very casual drinking. I wasn’t feeling great and there wasn’t a lot going on so I wasn’t drinking fast at all but I still had a small buzz while at dinner. I came back to the suite and there was still nothing to do. Mark and I countered this by playing quarters by ourselves in the dark of our room for about an hour. Looking back at it now it seems very anti-social and loser-esque but at the time it made perfect sense. Needless to say the game sped up the drinking rate. I went down to 104 to visit Satch, Rob, Abud, Shiloh, and a couple of others. I was much drunker than I thought I was. We were all bro’ing out at usual and then Satchel persuaded me to do a shot of gin. They didn’t have shot glasses so I drank from the bottle. I did 2 swigs and then was sort of in need of a chaser. Nothing was around so I took a spray bottle of shoe cleaner and sprayed it into my mouth. It tasted worse than the gin so I started spitting it up on the floor of the room.

After that I figured I’d head out but not before making a trip to their bathroom. I vomited in their sink which unfortunately clogged it. I started scooping it out with my hands as usual. 5 or 10 minutes went by and then Shiloh walked into the bathroom and asked why I was still here. Then he saw the throw up and walked out of the bathroom. I cleaned everything up, went back upstairs, and the night continued. We played pong for a while but I don’t really remember anything that well. I think the reason for that is a combination of my drunkenness but also the fact that nothing too exciting was going on. I start to clearly remember Ryder’s strobe light, Liz throwing up, Nicole and Larissa passing out on the floor, and Mark playing guitar. Mark and I made a trip to late night lower at 1 or so and the special sucked. We came back and had two people sleeping in our room, one in Mark’s bed and one on our ‘couch’. Mark and I opted to be not gay and sleep head to toe in my bed.

We woke up at 7 and the two visitors decided to go back. Mark and I went back to our respective beds. We woke up again at 9 to watch the Chicago Marathon and then ran 12 miles after it was over. Today has been a pretty lazy Sunday but that’s fine by me. It’s time to be a student again.

Race Recap

We had a meet at Desales today. The course is also the regional course so this was a nice sneak preview. It was split up into 2 races and Ursinus was in the early race. The gun went off and I was out pretty fast. I saw a pack of Dickinson kids (they’re in our conference) so I made it my plan to stick with them for as long as I could. I felt pretty solid and it felt like we were going fast. I heard my 2 mile split was 11:05 which is ridiculously slow. Little did I know that the mile markers were pretty inaccurate. I didn’t bother worrying about it and just made it my mission to stick with the 3 Dickinson kids. We hit 3 miles and I made a move to pass them. I dropped one of them but the other two stuck. With a little over a mile to go they made a move to pass me back and I was hurting. I felt decent but I was starting to tire pretty good. At the 4 mile mark they made a small move and semi-dropped me. I was dying and thought I was screwed. There are two hills in the last mile and I assumed I was going to trudge my way home in a weak last mile. I got up the first hill okay but on the second one I started to feel better. A Dickinson kid was about 7 seconds ahead of me but I started running him down. I caught him with maybe 300 to go, stuck on his shoulder, and with 200 to go just kicked like hell. I beat him and finished in a time of 26:55.

The time was 1 second faster than last week but it was definitely a harder course than Paul Short. I was pretty pleased with the effort. For once I actually felt good the whole race. I had some pop in my step and didn’t really cramp up at any point. I was 12th in the race out of 233 so that also made me happy. While I did outkick the one Dickinson kid, the three people who finished directly in front of me were Dickinson. I think that’s a good thing though. If my taper goes as well as planned I should be able to close that small gap (10-15 seconds on the 3 kids) and place respectably in the conference. Another positive note is that the 11 people that beat me consisted of 5 Dickinson kids, 3 Allegheny kids, and a D2 kid beat me. Dickinson and Allegheny are likely to qualify for nationals as a team at regionals so those spots don’t count which moves me up ever closer to the ultimate goal of making nationals. There was another boys race where I would have placed about 8th or so. Either way, I was very happy with the result and I think these next 5 weeks are going to go extremely well.

Passing On

So the big news as of late is that Steve Jobs has passed on. I was never huge on Apple products other than the Ipod but I know that some people are. Jobs was apparently an extremely innovative genius who forced his way to the top with these brilliant ideas that were originally thought to be crazy but he made them work and now they are a part of every day. What I think is most impressive or ingenious about what he did is that all of his products fed off other products. If you have one line of his product you must have another Apple product as well to put the puzzle together and make everything work perfectly. Apple has literally become it’s own separate line of computers and software. I also think it’s kind of amazing that a guy with 8.3 billion dollars died at the age of 56. It just goes to show you that while money can buy you happiness, it can’t buy you life.

Anyway, on a parting note, we watched a video today in Anthropology class today and I thought it was funny enough to share.

I don’t know if that’s how English sounds to foreigners but that was just ridiculous. By the end it just sounds like he’s totally wasted blabbering complete gibberish. I’ll try to record myself blacked out one of these weekends and compare the two videos. My guess is that they’ll be close.

Food Challenge

As Tom has been advertising, my brother Jeff along with his girlfriend Nicole will be in New Zealand for a year and they will be keeping a blog called Our Lives as Kiwis. If for some reason my blog starts to bore you, feel free to check out their blog which will document their adventures in the new land. It will likely be cooler than anything I’ve ever blogged about.

Speaking of cool blogs, here goes. I watched a video today about Kobayashi. For those of you who don’t know this guy is a professional eater who, for a while until Joey Chestnut came around, was widely considered the best competitive eater in the world. He visited Sports Illustrated recently to do two food challenges. How many hard boiled eggs could he eat in a minute and how quickly he could finish a gallon of milk. Now, I’ve actually sort of tried both of those. As most of you know, I tried to gallon challenge and the result was a failure. A few weeks ago we had a small competition of who could eat 2 hard boiled eggs the fastest with no water or anything. I won in roughly a minute. Here’s the video of Kobayashi.

Using water, he gets down 32 hard boiled eggs in a minute. Had I used water I assume I would have been 30+ too. The gallon challenge on the other hand was incredible. He finishes the damn thing in 19 seconds. The more impressive part is that he shows no signs of throwing up or sickness at all afterward. He’s all smiles and his stomach is just shooting out of his body. I guess this just goes to show, now matter how good you think you are at something, there’s always an Asian who’s better.