7th Annual Turkey Tourney

Well the 7th Annual Turkey Tourney was quite the disaster. It was not heavily advertised but we figured we’d draw in about 20 people, play for 40+ dollars, and have a grand old time like usual. By 11 o’clock (when we told everyone to get there) we had 3 people. At 11:10 we had 3 people. At 11:30 we mustered up 8 people and the tournament was underway. It wasn’t even the fact that the tournament was poorly advertised, we had at least 15 confirmed or so and then this morning we just got a lot of “oh yeah sorry I can’t make it something came up.” That really pisses me off in general but hey, there was nothing we could do.

We played 8 people $40 each. The tournament took a little over 2 hours. I got 2nd place for a net of $70 which I was really happy with. For the first hour and a half or so I was totally card dead. I played a small pot here and there but nothing major at all. We started with 200 in chips and blinds of 1-2 but they rose quickly. I was floating around 175 for a while and then the blinds hit 5-10 and before I knew it I was in push mode. I had a big breakthrough with A8. Bud was the only other one in the hand and he flopped a pair of queens to my pair of aces. The best part came on the turn when an 8 came. Not only did it give me 2-pair, but it also gave Bud 2-pair. He bet, I shoved, he called saying he felt bad because he probably ratted me but little did he know. After that I hit another big hand where I knocked Adam out with JJ and before I knew it was I was right there with the chip leader. People started dropping and before I knew it I was heads up. I went in down 2-1 in chips but played decently. The last hand was a J10 against AQ after a flop of A-10-9, I pushed and he called, game over.

Obviously it was a weak turnout but just like the NBA this season, at least we crowned a champion. As long as you crown a champion, whether the season is 66 games or the tournament is 8 people big, the legacy continues.


Thanksgiving is over and all in all it was a success. We had some family over, ate a grand dinner, and all was well. My cousin Mike brought over his two daughters who are 1 and 3 years old. They pretty much stole the show. The funniest/saddest part of the night was when Allison, the 3 year old, ventured off alone to find some kitties. She found Trooper and although she thought she was playing with Trooper, Trooper wasn’t playing with her. A stiff right hook (I’d guess) sent her downstairs in a fit of pain and agony. She was bawling her eyes out saying that the cat swatted her and although it was really funny, I actually felt really bad for her. Here’s this sweet little girl as innocent as can be who just wanted to play with a cat. She was just admiring how cute the cat was and she got rejected. For all I know, that incident could cause her to hate cats for the rest of her life. I sat next to her while she cried and felt totally helpless. There was nothing I could do to make her feel better, I just had to sit and watch.

Afterward everyone left and Tom and I were set in a ping-pong duel. 2 hours and 17 games later we called it a night. Tom sneaked 2 wins in there but it was really fun/quality playing. I slept in till noon today and then went on a fast 8 mile run. The rest of the day has been lazing around doing nothing with my time off. Tonight will be a very fun night though. I get to see Jake who I haven’t seen in ages and Alex as well. It should be a good time and I’m glad I get to see my friends, even if it’s only once, over the break.

Tomorrow is also the 7th annual Turkey Tourney. It’s going to be a smaller tourney but the buy-in is being bumped up a bit. I’m not that confident even as defending champ just because I haven’t played real cards since the summer. Regardless, I’ll give it my best shot and see if I can walk away with a bloated wallet. Happy Thanksgiving.

Shame Shame

The average human displays shame many ways. For example, you would never just shit out in the open with people watching. You’d be very uncomfortable and you’d know that everyone would we looking at you. We’re also very private about sexual relationships. The most PDA that anyone shows is maybe making out in public. You’d never just start banging in public, it doesn’t work like that.

These things are obviously opposite to animals. Animals shit wherever they want and bang whenever they feel like it. They don’t have that same sense of shame. I can stare at Trooper taking a dump and he doesn’t even acknowledge me. It’s just part of life, he’s not going to go outside in a private place and deuce where no one is looking, that’s just foolish. If a monkey sees another monkey and they feel like banging, they just go for it.

So my question is, where along the line did people start developing a sense of shame? It’s obvious that a monkey didn’t just give birth to a human kid and then from then on out humans came. Evolution happened slowly over time. So at what point did one of those tards walking on two feet decide, “hmm it’s a little weird that I’m shitting in front of the girl I bang, I’m gonna go outside in the woods to do that.”?

What a Start

For my first night home over Thanksgiving break I decided to do something where afterward I could say that I accomplished something. Initially I was thinking learn a song on guitar or read a book but I opted to do neither. I took a longtime enemy in the Rubik’s Cube and decided that I was not going to stop until I completed it. I’ve said this before and failed because I get lost in the directions of my online source and then I get extremely pissed off and vow never to put myself through the frustration again. Well, it was 9 o’clock tonight and I made an even stronger vow that I would NOT leave until I was done no matter what.

An hour later I had solved the cube, mixed it up, and solved it again. It did come with frustration of not understanding what the directions wanted me to do but eventually I figured it out well enough and feel confident that, given directions, I could do it relatively quickly. This sounds retarded, given directions? Yes, even with the most elementary directions it is very easy to get lost in the moves and before you know it you mixed the whole thing up and you have to start from scratch which happened to me multiple times. This is extremely annoying and made me want to stop but I had nothing else to do.

This concept as a whole though struck me as amazing. It’s rumored that the creator of the Rubik’s Cube took about a month to solve it after mixing it up for the first time. The guy was obviously a very gifted mathematician and it took him a month to do it. Me on the other hand, well I consider myself a little smarter than the average person and I can pick things up relatively quickly. Those credentials, while impressive, do not render me even close to qualified enough to pick up a Rubik’s cube and within 30 minutes have solved it with no prior knowledge.

How did I do it? Well isn’t it obvious, I googled it. In this day and age you don’t have to be smart enough to actually figure anything out, you just have to be smart enough to copy others who can figure it out. Why would I ever want to learn how to do integration by parts when I know some computer can do it 50 times faster than I can? Some guy was clever enough to design a program to do integrals for him even because even though he could do it, a computer was much faster. Everyone else uses his program and now everybody can do integrals. This is all well and good because it pretty much allows everyone in the world to solve things that ordinarily only really smart people could solve.

There’s an obvious problem though. What happens when those ‘smart’ people who actually know how to solve a Rubik’s Cubes or an integral dies? We have the whole world relying on a machine to tell us how to do it or solves it forĀ  us. This works until the machine breaks, then what? Technology does everything for us. It’s incredible how dependent we’ve become. As I sit here writing this it reminds me of a movie that I saw part of called Idoicracy. It goes into the future and pretty much shows that everyone has become really stupid because technology does everything for us. 50 years ago if a kid wanted to solve a Rubik’s Cube, well I really don’t know what he’d do, go to a library perhaps and try to find a book or article on it?

Obviously this topic has been touched upon thousands of times but I was just amazed that I could sit down and say “I’m going to solve this cube” and then relying 100% on technology, I could do it in a short period of time. What else can we do?

All Over

After 21 days I’ve thrown in the towel. My plan was to make it until I got home but after Wacker and Mark shaved along with the events that took place today, I absolutely had to shave. I had to meet with my teacher in her office and the whole time it was just so obvious that she was staring at my stache. This is not acceptable. I have the classroom reputation of the quiet kid who asks good questions every now and then and does pretty well, an all around good student. Having this awful looking facial hair knocks me down many notches. After I met with my teacher I had to meet with my group for a paper and the same thing happened, it was just so obvious they were looking me in the eyes and then down at the stache and then back at me. My facial hair was thicker and more plentiful this year but that was not a good thing. I grew more but because it was so not full it looked even worse than last year. The only problem with shaving now is that when my teacher and partners see me tonight and tomorrow, they’ll think I wasn’t doing no-shave because it’s still November and I shaved, so they must think that I thought it looked okay and I didn’t shave it because of that. We’ll see what happens.

I was in the library for 4 hours last night, 2 hours today, and I’m likely going to be there for another 3 or 4 hours tonight. This isn’t ideal but since it’s my last night of work I can handle it. Off to work.


It’s fair to say that the dated was a success. We didn’t start pre-gaming until about 3:30 or so and I only had 2 Natty Ice’s before dinner. After dinner, Mark, Wacker, Pane, and I played some card games to prepare ourselves. I’d guess I had maybe 4-5 Coors lights or so before we went outside to get on the bus. We hit a snafu when everyone had to get off the bus, get their hand stamped, and then get back on the bus. This was a problem because we didn’t get back on the bus when it actually left, this wasn’t our fault, they just had too many people on it. We had to wait another 45 minutes for the next bus. In this time span we went back to the suite, all did 3 shots in a span of 2 minutes, and then got on the late bus.

The bus ride was the start of trouble. Mark and I were singing loudly in the back seat. Eventually Pane joined in and these lax bros started freaking out and telling us to shut up. Well naturally the 4 skinniest guys on the bus started yelling back telling them to stfu. Things got semi-heated and Mark led the way for us saying that he was going to fight the one kid. The kid replied by saying that his whole team is on the bus and they’d destroy us, which they would’ve. I kind of tried to be a peacemaker by saying that no one was actually going to fight and we’re just drunk. As we were getting off the bus I heard them say something like “yeah they’re all track kids” so it’s safe to say they will not be coming to the next 203/ZBT party.

I was pretty drunk when we got there and had another beer as I walked in the door. The rest of the night is extremely hazy. I vaguely remember dancing, I don’t think I played any games, and I think I took the early bus back at 11. I don’t remember being back at the suite at all but rumor has it that I just passed out when I got back. All in all it was a great time. The real story from our group was Mark. He drank a pitcher of beer upon arrival and 20 minutes later threw up all over the place. He didn’t make it to the bathroom at all and security pretty much said “he has to leave right now”. A few people drove him back to school where he just passed out by himself. Wacker tried his best to help him out but it was beyond saving. Well worth the $20 he spent.

I have three major assignments due on Monday/Tuesday but then I’m headed home for break. For some reason, I don’t have a problem sitting in the library for 4 hours if I know that I’m only a day or two away from break. It makes doing work a lot easier when there’s something to look forward to as opposed to simply more work.

Beer Olympics Part 2

Well the Beer Olympics are over and it was a moderate success.We had to cut it short because it took a bit too long but it was a lot of fun and pretty entertaining. It was something different and a good team bonding activity for the end of the season. The final results aren’t exactly official because not every team got to play everyone else because it was taking too long. At the moment, my team is in 1st but we didn’t get to play the 2nd place team in anything so theoretically, if we played them in the four 1v1 events and they beat us in all of them, we’d lose, but what are the odds of that happening? Pong was average, flip cup was really fun I thought, and so-dub was also really fun when the suite wasn’t too full. Quarters dragged on a bit too long but there wasn’t anything we could do about that. The shotgun relay was hilarious because some girls (and some guys) just can’t chug at all. Our team won that in 39 seconds for Wacker, Liz, Steph, Jamie, and I. Last place was North Korea who took 1:08.

At the end of the games we had the 4×400. It was becoming clear that the drinking was taking its toll on people because these times were really slow. 1st place was Bangladesh who won in 1:20 for 4 people chugging a beer out of the can. Last place was North Korea (again) with 2:49. Between all four teams there were multiple people who took over a minute to finish a beer. It was not pretty. After that we marched to the track to run the 4×400. There was a lot of spectators and this was probably the most fun part of the whole thing. It wasn’t entirely fair because Bangladesh had 3 guy runners with Ryder, Ben, and Jatin while Ireland only had in Mark. Bangladesh killed it won the race convincingly. 2nd was North Korea but because they took forever to chug they actually got last. Because of that my team got 2nd and Ireland got 3rd. I only really know our teams total running time of 4:43 which was somewhat respectable. That concluded the Beer Olympics and we all headed back to the suite to resume our night

There were three severe flaws in the plan that were kind of unavoidable so things didn’t go quite as smoothly as we would have liked. The first flaw is that we only had one table to play pong, flip-cup, and so-dub on. This was a problem because it pretty much just took too long. We knew it was going to take long so we made baseball quarters 9 innings which also took a while but since you couldn’t do anything else while the other teams occupied the table, a long game of quarters was okay. The next thing was that the suite just got too full. There were too many people here so organizing things and trying to move from game to game was really difficult. It just made everything take longer which was the last thing we needed. The third and final problem was that some people just got too drunk and couldn’t really participate effectively in the games by the end. I guess that’s the point but once again, people being too drunk made it really hard to move things along quickly.

All in all though it was a fun night and I’m glad we went through with it. Tonight is the dated which is guaranteed to be a shit-show. We’ll see what happens.

Beer Olympics

Tonight the UCXC team is doing their own version of the Beer Olympics. The events are a shotgun relay, beer pong, so-dub, flip-cup, quarters, and a beer 4×400. This will be interesting because unlike the case race, it doesn’t entirely matter how good your team is at actual drinking. If you’re good at beer pong but a bad drinking you can still do well. Obviously it helps to be a good drinker for the shotgun relay and the 4×400 but it’s not absolutely mandatory. We’re starting in half an hour and I don’t see any reason why my team shouldn’t win. We have 4 competent and willing participants who can all hold their own so I’m excited. To win the Beer Olympics and the Paul Short case race in the same season would be awesome. Winning the case race was absolutely awesome so I think this would be the same way. I’ll update tomorrow about how it goes. Wish me luck.


For whatever reason I’ve had writers block for the past two days. I’ve attempted to sit down and write a blog multiple times and I just can’t get anything going. This happens from time to time and I’ve found that the best solution is to force out a piece of shit post like this one and hope to move on.

I’ll start off by advertising a potential 7th (?) annual Turkey Tourney at the Stortz household. For those who don’t know, the Stortz’s host a Texas hold’em tournament every year after Thanksgiving and everyone is invited. Jeff is gone this year and we’re not sure how many people we will be able to get but if we can draw a good number, Tom and I will gladly set things up and host the tournament. The buy-in would probably be between $30-$50 depending on who wants to play. I miraculously won last year and took home $450ish so it’s worth the trip.

On another note, we’re contemplating doing a Beer Olympics to celebrate the end of the XC season tomorrow. I’m always a fan of drinking competitions like case races, beer olympics, the ZB3, or any variation of a chugging contest. It just makes drinking more fun. Who would leisurely run every day of the year without wanting to race? Challenges add spice to the night and makes things memorable. The best part about this is that it would combine my two favorite activities, running and drinking. Obviously the beer mile does that too but that’s the perfect example, that thing is so fun. Doing something like a beer 4×400 with people on your team and running against another team sounds awesome. We’re on a short time frame so if we’re going to make this happen we have to act fast. Hopefully things fall into place and it works but who knows. I’ll keep everyone updated.

First Heater All Semester

I’m on a heater. I wouldn’t say that I’m ‘due’ for heater because I haven’t really been cold lately but I haven’t had one for a while and this is the first real one since I’ve been at school. Where to begin…

Academically I’m killing it right now. I’ve gotten three tests and three projects returned in the past week and the grades are as follows: 77, 98, 99, 98, 98, 100. Obviously the 77 wasn’t good but the class average was a 70 so I’m not going to count that against me. The 99 had a 15 point curve but still, an 84 when the class average was close to 60 is pretty good. The three 98’s all came from my finance class which I’ll inevitably get an A in. The 100 was on an Anthro paper/project which was worth 10% of my final grade. If things finish up well, not to toot my own horn (although that’s what a heater post is all about), I could make Deans List for the third semester in a row. Granted finance and anthro aren’t difficult, but managerial and reporting are so I think a 3.5+ would be a pretty good accomplishment.

Socially I’m doing pretty well. The only reason I say this is because of this weekend. I made it to 2 in the morning and didn’t really blackout at all. I had a fun time and drank like a normal person. To go along with this the XC team is going to Outback to celebrate the season and I love out. A full rack of ribs with pink lemonade and some hard pre-gaming will hit the spot as always. Saturday is also the Tau Sig dated. Last time I went to one of these I was wasted before I got there and blacked out early on into the event. I almost got arrested for peeing outside but that’s neither here nor there. The whole suite is going so it’s bound to be an awesome time. After that it’s virtually Thanksgiving break which is awesome.

The third and final portion of my heater is probably the most significant. I declared my XC season a moderate success but not nearly the breakthrough I was hoping. After a few days off from Regionals we had our annual 800 time trial. I’ve never fancied myself an 800 runner and I never will. My kick at Regionals was so pathetic that I didn’t have high expectations for this time trial although I tried to remain optimistic. Going into the race I said two things, 1) 2:07 or better and 2) beat at least 1 of the 3 people that I think should beat me, A.K.A get 3rd or better although I would’ve been happy with 4th. Well the race went out and my game plan was to stick onto the back of the leaders for as long as I could. Jatin and Adam were ahead of me at 400 and we went through in 62. We hit the 600 in 1:33 and I made my move for the front. I took the lead and pretty much started my kick. I was leading all the way and then on the home straight Jatin caught me and supposedly nipped me at the line by hundredths of a second (I’ll call it a tie). Regardless, I was happy that I ran that well and the time blew me away, Eric said 2:03 as we crossed the line. I simultaneously stopped my watch and thought Eric probably fudged the numbers a second or two. I looked down and saw 2:03.13 which is officially my new PR. I split 2:03.4 outdoor in high school and that’s been my fastest time up until now. Seeing as I’ve been doing 8k training for the past 6 months and it was indoor, I’ll say that I ran exceptionally well. Jatin and I were both happily surprised with our times. Adam was 2:04 and the rest of the team came in under 2:08 which bodes well for everyone.

Obviously this doesn’t make my ‘okay’ cross season that much better but it does show that the mileage/hard work is paying off somewhere. This makes me think that by the end of this year, if I run a fresh 800, I could break 2:00 which would be pretty cool even though I don’t really care about the 800 at all. Either way, being able to run a fast 800 is a good thing for my kick in any race so I’m quite pleased. It’s time for another day or two off from running then things will get serious again. Regardless of whether the heater continues or I cool off, this stretch here has been a very good one and I’m very happy with the way things are going at the moment.