Post-Conference Party

Last night was a pretty disastrous night all around. I made a promise that I wouldn’t black out and astonishingly enough, I kept my promise. I started the night off quickly. I drank a beer, shotgunned a beer, did three shots, drank a beer, shotgunned two more beers, all within an hour or so. Fortunately I was well fed and well hydrated going into the night so it didn’t hit me that hard. A good group of us went over to Todd for the track party. It was kind of lame at first but things started picking up eventually. Mark and I were pong partners but the table was pretty tall/long so games of pong took forever. Mark was also obliterated so he wasn’t contributing much to the team.

At this point I just wanted to lose so we could stop playing but the girl on the other team knocked two of her own cups over to lose the game. Half way through the next game we just forfeited and I tried to bring Mark back to the suite. He refused to go but fortunately Lance took charge of the party and directed everyone back to the suite. Back in the suite John Ryder and I had a pretty lengthy discussion. The funniest part was when Goldstein came in while we were talking and tried to make sure we weren’t going to fight or anything. We had this to say, “We’re not going to fight, and while we may not agree on a lot of things right now, the one thing we can agree on is that we want you to leave.”

Once that finished up we went back to the party. Eventually Mark came back from 103 and finally went to bed. Wacker tried to be a cool-guy and wake him up but I wouldn’t let him. We started wrestling and I pretty much had him pinned. He hates being tickled more than anything in the world so that’s exactly what I did. I literally tickled him to the point where he passed out. I got up off of him and asked if he was dead. Ryder was considering calling SERV because he was completely unresponsive. He was just lying there like a dead body. We decided to carry him to his room and we put his head in a trashcan and that was that. A few of us attempted to go to lower at ~ 1:30 but it was closed. We snuck in around the back, stole some popcorn, and booked it out of there. That pretty much ended the night.

I have a moderate amount of work but nothing crazy. While this wasn’t just another week, I’m one week closer to being a senior in college. Spring break is next week and I’m not going to New Zealand which means it will be me and JC holding down the fort for nine days. That should be a blast.

Short Update

This is going to be a quick post because it’s 8:30 at night and I’m 2 beers in as opposed to blacked out. Conferences was today and it was really exciting. Ben and I worked the awards all day but we had front row seats to every race and got to talk to pretty much every medalist. It was just a really cool experience and I only wish I could have participated. Watching the 5k was awesome but at the same time I was dying inside because I wanted to run it so bad. Obviously it’s really cool to see your own teammates do well but honestly, watching anyone have a great race is exciting and really motivating. I can’t wait to run and all but I’m not that sad about it right now. The past couple days have been rough and I’ve been thinking about my running (or lack there of) a lot and have just been down about the whole thing. I think I’ve fully accepted that I won’t be running for the next few months and I’m just trying to get better at this point.

Tonight we have a post conferences track party. I’ve made multiple promises that I won’t black out but honestly, who knows? We’re registered on Main Street and I think it should be a good time. I’m just going to have fun and act like I ran a really good race today. Cheers.

Sinks, Labs, and Commas

Three things in particular have been bugging me lately.

Automatic sink temperature and water pressure – I’m all for the automatic sink. If you know me well, you know that people wasting water is a huge pet peeve of mine. Leaving the shower on for 10 minutes before getting in drives me crazy. Leaving the water on while you brush your teeth makes me want to kill something. Saving water by using an automatic sink instead of letting hoodlums turn the nozzle on and walking out is a good idea. However, a negative of the automatic is that you can’t adjust for pressure or temperature. You have to make the water pressure high enough so you can actually wash the soap off of your hands and you can’t make the water freezing cold or else people will stop using it.

Econometrics Lab Partner – I’m pretty sure my lab partner doesn’t read this blog so it’s okay to say this. He is a stump. If he had to do these labs on his own he would be screwed. He copies my SAS editor window on every single lab and still manages to mess it up. Then, he’ll stop me and ask “My programming looks just like yours but mine’s not running and yours is, I don’t get it” to which I have to look at this program and tell him all the semi-colons he left out and how he misspelled ‘displacement’. After we start answering the written questions he always says “so what did you write for this one?” in which case I have explain the answer to him or even worse, I have to minimize SAS, pull up my word doc, and let him copy what I wrote. I don’t mind if other people are stupid and can’t do the work themselves. If you want to copy labs and cheat on tests to get the grade and not actually learn anything, that’s fine by me because you’re paying for it. But when I’m there an extra 15 minutes because this guy isn’t even making an effort to do the lab himself, it drives me crazy.

The Oxford Comma – I see no reason why anyone would leave out the oxford comma. I’ve been reading a lot of business articles lately for my one class and it comes up all the time. The one article noted how college graduates suck at writing these days because email and IM’s are so informal. They cite the use of ‘u’ instead of ‘you’ which I agree with and they also state the Oxford Comma and how important it is. Then, in a different article a week later, the (different) authors didn’t use a single one. I noticed it every time and it was driving up the wall. If you hand in any written document anywhere, your writing speaks volumes. If you’re mixing up then and than or if you’re informal in any way you will look bad. Do not leave out the Oxford Comma.  Here’s an example to show why you should always use it.


Ash Wednesday

As most of you know I’m not religious in any way. That being said, I think it would be fun to try and give up something for a 40 day period just to see. I’m not necessarily going to start today because I haven’t thought of what I want to do yet. That’s acceptable because I’m not doing it for religion or anything, I’m just doing it to see if I can. If anyone has any suggestions feel free to comment.

So far these have been thought up: Drinking, blacking out, throwing up, jerking off, Trials, COD, running (hah), racism, and blogging. I’ll start by saying the four are simply unrealistic.

To say you won’t drink is just something I’m not willing to give up. It’s not because I can’t do it, it’s just because I’m not going to sacrifice over a month of the best years of a my life for no reason. Drinking is staying.

Blacking out would probably be a good one to drop. I don’t really gain anything from blacking out. Sometimes I lose not only my memory but my dignity as well. While it could be beneficial to drop this, I just don’t think I could pull it off. When I’m in the party scene it’s just very easy to get carried away, take a few extra shots, shotgun an extra beer or two, and then black out for a little bit. This is collinear with drinking (econometrics!), I don’t want to be monitoring myself while I’m drinking.

Throwing up is a funny one. I’ve thrown up 3 times this semester and I threw up 8 times last semester. I don’t necessarily enjoy throwing up but my throw ups are different from most peoples. For example: When Wacker or Mark throws up, it’s a night ender. They’re hugging the toilet and if they’re not they’re passed out soon after. I’ve hugged the toilet one time in my entire life. It was in 10th grade at Josh Stolz’s house and it was the first time my parents caught me drinking. I was all over the place and got into the car with my mom at 11pm hammered with throw up on my shirt and just one sandal on. I view throwing up as probably a good thing for me. It sobers me up when I’m too drunk and it’s only a tiny tiny speed bump in my night. I go to the bathroom, puke, and that’s that; I’m right back to the party. I just don’t think I should give this one up.

And finally, jerking off. This is pretty much what comes to mind (at least I think) whenever anyone says “What are you going to give up for lent?” I made a $10 bet with Jonny once that he couldn’t go an entire year with out doing it. For whatever reason he agreed. I told him he could do it one time in the whole year but just once. He went home that night and did it. Three weeks later he came up to me with a $10 bill in his hand and said that was the stupidest bet he’s ever made. Now in my life I’ve had streaks of 2+ weeks but to think you could go 40 days is nonsense for the most part. If you told me I would die if I did it once in 40 days I could go the whole 40 days, but for nothing more than pride it’s just not realistic.

The other options are plausible but I don’t want to pick one just yet. Again, if anyone has any suggestions please comment. I’ll try to pick something by this weekend and make a legit attempt at doing it.

Social Host

With any registered party here at Ursinus College you have to have social hosts. Social hosting is not fun (well actually I wouldn’t know because I’ve never done it but still). It requires you to be in charge of the party pretty much. You’re not supposed to drink and you’re supposed to fix problems if things get out of hand. For instance, if someone in puking their brains out, you have to decide whether to call SERV or not. You’re pretty much sacrificing a night of drinking. I like drinking. I don’t want to social host.

There are ways out of social hosting though. Since most parties take place in the suite, I feel like we’re exempt from having to social host. We deal with the consequences on Sunday morning when our suite is absolutely trashed, iPods are stolen, beer is spilled everywhere, and there’s vomit on the couch in our room. I think everyone kind of gets that too so we never really have to host when there’s parties in our suite.

Another way to get out of it is to forget registering at all. When you register a party you’re pretty much telling the school that you’re throwing a party and you become responsible for the bad things that may happen. Also, RAs check-in to make sure things are okay. You’re drawing attention to yourself before the party even begins. I prefer not registering at all.

A final way of getting out of social hosting is to do what someone in our suite did. To be eligible to become a social host you have to attend a meeting and take a 10 question quiz. By failing this quiz, you immediately remove yourself from any social host duties ever. Whether this was done on purpose or not is in question, but regardless, that person never has to social host even if they ‘want to’.

This weekend is conferences. With conferences comes a registered party. With a registered party comes social hosts. Every time we register a party people send out an email to the team saying “Hey, we need two people to social host, does anyone want to do it?” Well, that’s what happened this weekend. I replied back asking where the party was because I wasn’t sure if they planned on having it in the suite. She replied back that they were trying to do it on Main Street because the suite has been getting destroyed lately but we could have it in the suite if we wanted. Well I’d rather do Main Street but I don’t want to email that back because then I’d have to say “oh and by the way, I don’t want to social host”. I figure the best solution at this point is to ignore the fact that I sent out the email all together.

I believe in fairness and all that but simply put, me social hosting will ruin my night significantly more than certain other people on the teams night if they social hosted. It makes sense that as a unit, we want to have the best time possible. Obviously this is me being selfish but there are people who come to the parties and never really “get drunk”. On the other hand, maybe I should social host strictly because I passed out at 10:30 last weekend. While I have been pretty good this semester about staying up late, I still blackout almost every time I drink. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have a night where I stay pretty sober and don’t blackout. I could stay up late and tell stories about what I saw and whatnot. I definitely wouldn’t be getting drawn on or drinking my own pee, I’d be a wallflower and not at all the center of attention, but I’d be able to recount the fun for everyone else.

With all of that said, I definitely do not want to social host.

Alpha Monkey

I can only wonder what was going through this monkey’s mind throughout this process.

Early Night

Last night was not very successful. Yoko was coming to visit so we were all excited to get started. Ben’s brother was also up to visit so we had to show him a good time. We started drinking pretty early. I had a few Boxers and everything was going well. There was about 10 of us guys in the suite playing beer pong and listening to music, the usual bro-sesh. Drowzy and I were killing it in beer pong. For whatever reason we were both just playing really well and winning a lot. At one point, there was two cups left and he turned to me and said “If you make it, I’ll slam dunk the shit out of the other one.” Just to clarify, slam dunking means you pretty much just charge up, dive over the table, and slam dunk the ball into the opposing teams cup. Our table is pretty flimsy and Rob is a pretty big guy so this would have been interesting. Fortunately I made the cup. Rob looked at me, took his shirt off, and did exactly what he said he was going to do. Every cup fell off the table and the table itself almost went down. Rob was laying there completely sprawled out on top of it and everyone in the suite went nuts. It made a huge mess but it was worth it. A few games later, Rob and I were winning again with 2 cups left and I made the same promise to him, if he made it I would slam dunk it. What do you know, Rob made it. Ben was on the other team and said he was going to block me if I did it. I opened the suite door, charged in, and dunked it. Unfortunately though, I missed the cup which I didn’t really think was a big deal. Ben argued though and claimed that if you don’t make it, it doesn’t count. I would agree with this but we made a rule earlier that if you slam dunk it on the last ball, you win no matter what. We decided we would just go to overtime where somehow Rob and I lost.

Yoko was giving out shots of SoCo and this is where things went south. I always tell myself that shots never end up well. Whenever I do shots my night just ends poorly. I started off with a double shot with Drowzy. Moments later I shotgunned a Boxer. Moments later I went down to Sig Pi and did two shots while I was there. In this short span I essentially ended my night. I completely blacked out the rest of the night. This was probably around 9 or so. I don’t remember anyone being at the suite. I passed out at 10:30 or so and everyone drew on me. While it wasn’t as bad as this, it was still pretty bad. I woke up at 6 in the morning and what do you know, I managed to wet the bed again. This time was a little more justifiable because I was absolutely smashed when I went to bed but still, it wasn’t good.

Mark was awake too so we decided to wake other people up. I was very drunk still because I don’t really remember going to the laundry room but I know I did. We went to get Wacker but he wasn’t in his bed. He was no where to be found. We went down to Sig Pi and I was going to draw on Satchel. He instantly woke up. We poured laundry detergent on their common room floor and clogged their sinks instead. We went upstairs and for whatever reason decided to go back down. I was going to pour a Dr. Pepper on him. As I opened the door and snuck in he immediately said “I see you Sam.” My plan was foiled but whatever. We stayed down there and talked for half an hour or so which was entertaining.

I went back to bed and slept till 10. Mark, Wacker, and I went to Philly to get cheesesteaks from Jim’s. They were pretty good but now I’m stuck doing work. The night was an embarrassment but I suppose everyone has those from time to time. It just seems like it happens to me a lot more than everyone else.

Crate Race #2

Last night was a pretty typical weekend night. For whatever reason, when someone suggests any form of a drinking competition I just love the idea. I like competing and I like drinking so I’m usually excited. Last night Sig Pi was having a crate race and needed an extra person. I was lucky enough to be invited and I accepted. This was only the second crate race I’d ever been a part of. The race didn’t start until 9 so I had to play it cool until then. I had a few beers beforehand but made sure I went in not too drunk and ready to drink. Unfortunately my team lost but it was a fun time and of course, I was hammered by the end. I had a number of shots, 4 or 5 Boxers, and some champagne in the span of an hour or so.

It was roughly 10 and my memory leaves me at this point. I apparently went to Shreiner, hung out in the suite, and went to lower. I very very vaguely remember lower but not really. I do remember they had sausage, egg, and cheese on a bagel but they ran out of sausage so it was just egg and cheese. Regardless, I was pleased. Wacker passed out in Sig Pi and woke up at 4 in the morning to Satchel trying to pierce Wacker’s ear with scissors. Mark was obliterated and fell out of a tree. Pane threw up for the first time all semester. A good time was had all around.

Ben, Pane, and I had a field trip for our photography class today which was pain in the ass. We had to be at Lower by 10 to get on the bus and we didn’t get back until 2:30. I’m not big on art but that coupled with a mild hangover was not ideal. The trip was actually better than I expected but the timing was just inconvenient. It’s 5 o’clock now and I’m cracking open Boxer Lager #1. Tonight should be a fun night as well and I’m excited. I just finished eating lunch with Tom, Laura, and my mom which is always fun. I like spending time with my family because the conversations are always entertaining. Anyway, time to party, hooorah.

At least I tried

I should have expected this. Every time I write a post openly telling people to comment I always feel so empowered. I get the feeling that I’m so connected with my readers and that after reading the post they’ll be thinking “You know what? I will comment on this one.” That literally never happens. When I check the blog the next morning and there’s no comments, I just assume they aren’t awake yet. When I check in the afternoon and there’s no comments, I assume people have been in class all day. When I check at 11 at night, the reality of the situation sets in and I realize I look like a fool when I try to engage my readers like that and it fails miserably.

I don’t know why but I just can’t figure it out. What will it take to make you people comment? Tom went to desperate measures once and wrote a protest post where until 15 different people commented, he would not make a new post. This is a risky move. People will either eventually give in and post OR they’ll never comment and the blog dies forever. I don’t know if my readership is loyal enough to pull off a protest post but I’m not willing to find out. Maybe people don’t post because they are scared to post their thoughts on a public board (A, if you consider this public and B, that’s what I do every time I post, it’s really not that bad)? I just encourage the commenting because it not only gets you involved, but it just makes me happy to see that people are actually reading/thinking about what I’m writing. Without comments I have no idea who’s visiting if anyone at all. I offer 5 minutes of entertainment/procrastination for readers nearly every single day. The least you could do is comment.

That’s all I have to preach about for today. I’ll probably get the same amount of responses which is disappointing but I figured it was at least worth a shot.


For longer than I can remember I’ve had a commenter who goes by the alias Alaska. This mystery person comments once every few months and whenever I think their gone, without fail, they comment again to remind me of their existence. The last post he (I’m going to assume it’s a he just to make writing this post easier) commented on was Two Thoughts. He always has lengthy and well thought-out responses which I appreciate but for the most part, he’s just commenting on what I’m wrong about which isn’t necessarily encouraging. Regardless, I would rather have negative comments that no comments at all. At least a comment means people are reading this.

I have a decent number of regular commenters on this blog, Mark, Brett, Tom, Dave, Laura, etc. Anytime someone has a real response other than “I’m the Man” (Mark…) I like seeing it but anytime I see someone new commenting I get even more excited. This is why I try to encourage as many people as possible to comment because even if you think it’s stupid or you’re making fun of me, I’d rather you comment than say nothing at all. Also, if you don’t want to reveal your identity just do what Alaska does and hide it. I get the feeling there are a good number of regular readers who would never consider commenting for whatever reason but please I want you to comment.

Sorry, I went off on a little tangent there, back on topic. Alaska, although I’d love to know your true identity, I appreciate your comments either way, even if you do only point out the mistakes I make. Clearly something has you visiting this blog again and again. And again, readers, please comment whenever you want. It’s nice to know that somebody out there is reading regardless of whether they like it or not.