Who Are We?

The past 3 days have been school filled which is kind of unusual. I took an econometrics test yesterday that I studied a lot for and I got absolutely shit on. It was a disaster. There were 6 multi-part questions and I skipped through the first 4 because I wasn’t sure how to do them. In the end, the average will probably be 60-70 and I’ll probably get 60-70. I  have a Macro test tomorrow which will be hard but I think I’ll be okay.

Dinner today was a show. It was luau themed and they had a limbo contest. Now, my freshman year they had a limbo contest that Mark and I both participated in. I said going in that if I get dead last I was going to freak out. When I got dead last I stood up and smacked the bar up off of the pegs and yelled in anger. I knocked one of the posts over in the process and everyone knew I overreacted. Mark went on to be the champion and I was bitter. This year I didn’t compete because of my back but Mark made 203 B proud by winning again. I must admit it was pretty impressive. The whole cafeteria was in a frenzy when he cleared the lowest height. To quote Mark himself “That was the proudest moment of my life.”

On the walk back I referred to Mark as limbo guy and that got us thinking, what do the other people on this campus think about us? Not that many people know us but a lot know of us. What do people who know of us, but don’t actually know us, think about us? After tonight people will undoubtedly be thinking “That’s limbo guy!” when they see Mark (or something like that). Another example would be last weekend, I saw this one kid in lower who was way too drunk to be there. I’ll always think of him as drunk lower kid when I see him. Drizzy was in lower in just his boxers, people must think “That’s the kid who was in his boxers in lower that one time”. The first time we hung out with this freshman Joe he was throwing up all over the place so we always think of him as “Head in toilet Joe.” So what would they say about us?

I talked to someone in 205 a few weeks back and she said they refer to me as “shorts and sandals kid” because I pretty much always wear shorts and sandals. After St. Pedro’s day everyone must have been raving about my sleeveless Phat Farm shirt, I can only hope they were calling me Phat Farm kid. Mark is now known as limbo guy but he could also be the kid who kicked a soccer ball in a girls face during intramural or drunk kid crying at the football game. Ben might be known as the kid who chugs hot sauce at dinner or the kid who passed out in the Reimert circle with his pants around his ankles. Wacker could be the kid who threw a full water bottle on that other kid at the library or the kid who gets drawn on every weekend. The possibilities are endless.

Unfortunately only people who know us well enough read this blog but if anybody knows of any others, feel free to comment.

Dropping Out

This is a semi-serious post. I’m thinking about my future and trying to determine the value of staying in school and getting my degree versus dropping out right now.

Either way, it looks as though my future could quite possibly be with Stortz Tools and I’m happy about that. I like the idea of working with my brother(s) as well as taking over a family business. There’s a sense of pride and tradition I get when I say I might work there one day and I know there’s a lot more to it then just packing tools, drilling holes, and counting inventory.  With that being said, what do I gain from going to school for my senior year?

1) First and foremost, the degree I earn from here will enable me to get a job outside of Stortz Tools should something happen. I’ve already put three years and six semesters worth of tuition into this school, I might as well finish what I started. In terms of the actually classes I’m taking next year, well I probably won’t learn that much from them. One is international finance which sort of helps and marketing which actually would help, but other than that I’m done my business major and most of the rest will be filler courses to make my life easier for running. Speaking of running…

2) I get to run another year which I’m obviously very excited about. This is actually a huge reason especially because this year was cut drastically short due to injury. I’ve put in years of work and mileage and I want to see what my potential is at this point. I’ve strongly contemplated the idea of seriously training for a marathon for a year or two after I graduate which is something I definitely want to do but if I began working full time next year I would kiss competitive running in the college scene goodbye which is not fun. A small glimmer of hope is that a former Upper Dublin guy Tom Rhodes only missed the Olympic Trials in the marathon by a minute. *After doing some research Rhodes’ HS prs are a little faster than mine. Also, Brian Sell never even broke 10 in the 2 mile in high school and he actually made the Olympics for the US marathon.

3) College is the best four years of your life. Would I really want to sacrifice 25% of the best years of my life to start my real life early where I have bills and rent and a job? Probably not. The lifestyle that goes along with college is one that most people probably never experience again after they graduate. I would say I’m pretty much living the life right now outside of the fact that I’m injured and can’t run. I have classes and work but they’re manageable and I just really enjoy what I’m doing right now. Stress is low and fun/humor is high.

With all of that being said, is it really worth it to make my parents pay ~50 grand just so I can take it easy for another year and pursue a running career that 999,999 times out of a 1,000,000 will take me nowhere? If I left school now I would save that 50 grand and also gain a year of experience at work that I would not normally have. I think I’ve learned the majority of what I’m going to in terms of what will be useful in the future so why bother staying? Is it just because that’s what I’m supposed to do and that’s what everyone else does?

I’m not actually going to drop out but I think the idea actually has some validity to it. Just some food for thought.


A few months ago I caved into getting a smart phone. I am now sinking even lower and joining the Twitter craze. Rob Kelley has been pushing pretty hard to get all of us to join and up until yesterday I resisted pretty well. Nick Pane has a twitter and Wacker just wanted to follow him because he thought it was funny. Well, when one of us does something the other two have to follow so Mark and I made twitters also. I’m currently following 33 people, probably 25 of which are runners, and have 7 followers. I’m still trying to figure everything out and become comfortable with the whole setup. I’m sure it will come in a few days and I’ll be tweeting like crazy. I also got twitter for my smart phone so I can even tweet on the go. I figure in a few years everyone is going to a twitter or some form of twitter so I might as well get used to it now.

For those curious, my twitter name is thesamstortzbg. I was really struggling to come up with a name so I asked Rob what to do. His is therobkelleybg so I just went with that. BG stands for blast gang which I am not a part of but it’s funny anyway so I figured why not. Happy tweeting.

Nothing Special

Saturday was a pretty normal day on all counts. The team had a meet but those not competing couldn’t ride the bus. At noon Wacker and I decided we would drive to the meet which was at West Chester to watch some races. We made it there successfully, watched some good races, and made our way back around 4. The team wasn’t going to be back for a few hours so Wacker and I sipped on some Natty Ices while playing COD. The night began slowly once everyone got back. I went down to 103 to play Satchel in The Show, unfortunately I lost another close game.

I went back to the suite and things started to pick up a little bit. A few of us opted to play 3-man in my room which was pretty fun. Wacker got to make a rule that if you rolled double 6s then you had to draw a mustache on your face with a marker. I was pretty drunk at this point and vaguely remember rolling 6s so I had to draw one. My mustache however wasn’t the funny one. Emily rolled 6s but we went easy on and just drew a little Hitler stache. A few turns later she rolled 6s again so we drew a full curly mustache that she impressively kept on her face the entire night. At some point I went to 205 with Rob and Satchel. My new friend kept trying to introduce to me to the girl that kicked me out last year because I kept saying she farted until she cried. When the girl finally came in the room we were introduced and I knew she remembered who I was. I gave her a fist pound and then left that suite.

Not much happened the rest of the night. A few of us went to lower but the special sucked and that was that. Sunday was a really lazy day. I slept from 1 to 4 and did 30 minutes of homework at night. Mark had a recruit come to visit and we showed him a pretty good time I think. The first thing we did was play Frisbee before dinner to which he replied was “so college”. We thought it was funny because Mark and I try to be as college as possible these days. We drank some beers, played a lot of video games, went to Wawa, and watched some tv, all of which was fun. The end of the year is setting in. I’m handing in my course selection form for next semester today. I’m not happy that I’m going to be a senior and my motivation is decreasing as of late. I’ll get through it like everyone else but the longer I can stay in college the better.

Never Done

Yesterday I did two things that I’ve never done before.

The first thing I did was attempt a gainer. For those who don’t know a gainer is just a backflip while going/looking forward. I was aqua jogging in the pool and for whatever reason I felt really confident that I could do it. Mark was the life guard and Ben was there for moral support so I wasn’t totally alone. Mark can also do a gainer so I was asking him for advice. The idea was to simply jump really high up and far enough out, tuck your legs in like a ball, and tilt your neck back hard to start turning backwards. I did two test runs up where I only jumped up and out just to see how it felt. I was getting pretty good air and didn’t think I would hit my head on the backboard if it came down to it. On the first real run I totally chickened out and that’s when my confidence abandoned me. The second I jumped off the board I forgot everything I was taught and panicked so I just didn’t do anything. Before the second real run I just kept saying that I had to fully commit regardless of whether I’m going to be successful or not. Now, the thing I didn’t put together is that whenever I try to do a frontflip, I twist sideways, meaning if I do a front flip off the board I land facing the board so I turn 180 degrees. I went up for the real gainer and of course I was twisting sideways and when I was fully upside down I freaked out and lost all form. My legs and arms shot out trying to put myself in some familiar position but I was screwed. I hit the water with the left side of body, mostly my face and a little less my left leg, taking the impact. The ringing in my ear was absolutely horrible and my face stung pretty bad. With that said, it’s been nearly 24 hours and my hearing is still not back to normal. Perhaps next Friday I’ll give it another go.

The other thing I did yesterday was watch The Ring. I like the idea of scary movies for some reason. Before watching one I go in saying “I’m just going to stare at that little 40 inch area of space for 2 hours no matter what is being shown. What’s the worst that can possibly happen if I stare at that screen?” Anyway, I’ve been wanting to watch The Ring for some time now but have never gotten around to it. Since it was a pre-meet night and there was nothing to do Wacker downloaded it and him and I watched the whole thing together. I’ll start by saying this, it is definitely not a very scary movie. While yes there are some parts that are scary or creepy or weird, it’s just not a scary movie overall. With that said, it did keep me pretty entertained/absorbed for most of it. The only problem I have with it is the lack of explaining things and some confusion. What’s wrong with the little girl? What’s the significance of someone’s face being messed up in a picture (I know it means they’re going to die but why would a picture get messed up?) What if you only watch half of the tape? What if you fast forward through it? Who is making that phone call every time and how? Why did the girl only talk to Aiden? It kept me entertained and had a scare or two but overall it just didn’t make sense.

That was one of the most eventful pre-meet Friday’s I’ve ever had. Tonight is just a normal weekend night but I’m not complaining. Happy Saturday.

Chris Cringle

Last night as we were going to bed Wacker made some comment that Mark was a jew. Mark retaliated with something like ‘Sam’s the only jew here, he doesn’t even know who Kris Kringle is!’ The way he said it was assuming that I knew who he was. It was like in Zombieland when the little girl asks “Who’s Bill Murray?” and Woodie Harrelson responds with “I’ve never hit a kid before. I mean, that’s like asking who Gandhi is.” and she replies with “Who’s Gandhi?” The conversation continued for 10 minutes or so where I just asked questions. I had no idea that Santa had an alter ego like Superman and the fact that his name is spelled with K’s instead of C’s is ridiculous. I didn’t even know there was a story behind how Santa came to be. Apparently there’s some guy in the story named burgermeister meisterburger or something like that and he’s pretty much a jew who tries to ruin the day just like Scrooge (who I also had never heard of until this year).

I have not once in my life heard the name Kris Kringle. I don’t know if this is like a book or a T.V. show that kids would watch but whatever it is, it clearly isn’t that popular. With that being said, every single person I’ve asked knows who Kris Kringle is. Conversely, I’ve asked four people if they have ever heard of Hanukkah Harry and only one of them has. This blows my mind in the same way that everyone elses mind is blown when I say I’ve never heard of Mr. Kringle. I’m aware that up to this point I’ve missed out on a lot of childhood experiences but I’m just wondering, if Kris Kringle is so commonly known, how have I never heard of him? Not once in 20 years of life has he come up in conversation before last night? If Kris Kringle was so important then I think  I would have heard of him by now.

Please, if you have heard of him, don’t bother commenting because apparently everyone has, but if you haven’t heard of him, then please comment and let me know I’m not alone.

Congrats Laura and Brookes

I meant to post about this when I heard about it but I was going the the library and then Wacker and I had the whole Alright Brother thing which I posted about because it was on my mind. Anyway…

My sister Laura got engaged today and I couldn’t be happier for her and Brookes. They’ve been together for a few years and they work really well together and I’m glad they’re finally taking the plunge (ha). It was strange, of the 4 kids Laura is definitely the most emotional out of the bunch. Generally she seems more excited for things than I am  no matter what it is spare a running event. When she told me she was actually getting married however I was genuinely happy and excited and really glad to hear it. Obviously we’re brother and sister and this is something I would expect to find out about but when she told me to call her because she had news I felt honored that I was one of the first people she talked to and I was happy to share the joy and excitement with her. I got up and walked outside to talk to her about it because it’s a big step in someones life and I was really happy for them. Brookes is an awesome guy I can’t picture anyone else that I would want my sister to spend the rest of her life with. I’m not entirely sure when the wedding is but as long as it’s after August 30th of this year I’ll be happy because I’ll be 21. To quote Farva, “Open bar dudes!!!”. I think it will be a really fun family event and I’m looking forward to it.

Once again congratulations and I can’t wait for the wedding.

Alright Brother!

The title of this blog post is quoting the great Hulk Hogan. Mark and I like to use the Hulkamania voice in every day language but the phrase “Alright Brother!” takes the cake. However, the real point of this post is not about Mark and I or even the Hulk himself, it’s about our buddy Wacker. We’ve been trying to get him to say “Alright Brother!” in the Hulk voice for weeks now and he absolutely refuses to do it. No matter what we offer him he won’t even try to say it.

This does not come as surprising though. There are a lot of other things Wacker won’t share with us. An example is his taste in music. Over the past 2 years we’ve learned small amounts but he refuses to DJ anything for us ever. He’s shown me two songs that he likes in two years of knowing him and prying. He generally just doesn’t share information that seems even slightly personal. We’re 8 guys living together in college. We like to talk about things that you can’t normally talk about. He rarely participates when things start getting weird or unusual.

When you’re open and upfront about things, people don’t really make fun of you for it because it’s obvious you don’t care. When I pooped in the shower by accident I didn’t try to hide it from everyone and get really angry when people brought it up. I said, “Holy shit, Mark come over here and look at this!” By hiding things from everyone it just makes people want to know more. I don’t ask anyone to play me music except for Wacker and that’s specifically because he refuses to. If he played music in his room or when we were all hanging out no one would have a problem or say anything. If he just said “Alright Brother!” one freaking time we wouldn’t ask him to everyday. Even Nick Pane acknowledged he was bad at making voices and he still gave us an Alright Brother. Was it funny? Yes. Was it pretty? Not really. Did anyone care? No. The days of self-consciousness are not meant to be lived while in college. This is the only time where you can split a liter of tequila in two hours, throw up everywhere, slay a dragon or two, go to football games blacked out, have Natty Ice as your beer of choice, piss your bed, and have all those things not matter at all. Live it up while you can.

To close, I’m going to post a picture of Wacker. He absolutely hates having his picture taken for whatever reason. Adam had a high speed camera and took some good shots of him while he at the track meet on Friday. If he didn’t care when people took his picture, I wouldn’t post this, but because he cares so much, here’s a classic shot of Wacker.

What’s New

There’s a song and a video that I’ve come across recently that I want to bring up.

The first is the song that’s taking Ursinus parties by storm, Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen.

I heard the song at least 20 times on Saturday and I must admit it’s pretty catchy. After doing some research it’s clear this song has been out for a number of months which is odd that it’s getting popular now but whatever. This type of song usually isn’t up my alley but for whatever reason I kind of like this one. It’s not something I would really listen to if I was just sitting at my desk or something but in a party atmosphere I like it a lot. I can’t really tell if her voice is altered with at all although I would probably lean towards yes. Regardless I like the way she sounds. I watched the video too and it at least has a story to it. Before watching it I was wondering if the girl would be good looking or not. Initially watching it I said not really, the bangs were a little weird and I couldn’t tell if her face was cute or not. As the video went on though I came to the conclusion that she gets more and more attractive (especially when she’s singing in the garage) and that she is indeed good looking. Will this song last long? Probably not. Will this girl last long? Probably not. But for now they’re pretty popular and that’s fine by me.

The second video is one that my roommate watched but just kind of brushed over. I was trolling the forums today and came across it again and decided to watch the whole thing, it is pretty entertaining.


Now, initially I thought how could this girl possibly be this stupid. After watching it I’m still thinking the exact same thing. Now I don’t know if it’s because I’m decently well-educated or that I tried in school or that I took physics classes, but the concept of MILES PER HOUR is not that confusing. There’s obviously a huge disconnect for this girl. She just thinks miles per hour A.K.A MPH is just an arbitrary measurement for speed. She was never taught (or at least never understood) that miles per hour is a ratio that measures the miles you travel versus the time it takes you. It’s videos like this that make you think one of two things. I can’t believe people like this in the world exist or this video has to be fake. It seems to be real to me and I can kind of understand how someone is that dumb but at the same time you could imagine people out there faking it for this exact reason, because it would blow up.


Someone posted a facebook status today (which inspired this post) that said “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” This got me thinking about all the other references to this idea that you should live every day like it’s your last like the song “Live Like You Were Dying”, or “Gotta Live”, the list goes on and on. I want to share my opinion on this general idea.

The idea of living every day like it was your last is a terrible idea. If tomorrow was the last day of my life would I want to wake up at 9, go eat shitty Wismer breakfast, go to Econometrics, go eat shitty Wismer Lunch, go the gym to bike for 30 minutes, play Call of Duty for 3 hours, go to practice, go eat shitty Wismer dinner, go to the library, and go to bed? Outside of the Call of Duty part, absolutely not. No chance in hell is that how I would want to spend my last day. Now does that mean I should skip all of my classes, spend hundreds of dollars on gourmet food, and try to bang anyone who’s willing (or not willing)? Absolutely not. The consequences of living every day like it was your last would be so severe that it would ruin every day after that for the rest of your life. I understand the concept of enjoying life to the fullest but that doesn’t mean live every day like it’s your last. People are going to have shitty days, that’s pretty much inevitable. I’m going to have days where I have a lot of work to do or I’m sick and I’m not going to be happy but that doesn’t mean I’m not living life to the fullest. The motto should not be “If you’ve always wanted to kill someone, why not do it today, for all you know this could be your last chance!”

The motto should be something more like YOLO. Gourlay introduced me to this term and I’ve been jokingly saying it for 2 weeks now. I think it’s hilarious to say but the idea behind it actually carries some weight. It means you only live once. This doesn’t tell you to live everyday like it’s your last, it just says make your life as exciting and enjoyable as possible. This motto has good persuasion power to it. For example, if you’re at MacDonald’s and you’re deciding if you want to get a salad and a yogurt or something healthy versus a double quarter pounder with cheese, YOLO, I’m getting the double quarter pounder with cheese.