I watched Crazy, Stupid, Love today. I was quite bored and heard good things (from my mother and sister) and figured I would check it out. I’ll start by saying this, I missed the first half hour so I may have missed some parts but regardless, I got the idea of the movie and for the purposes of this post that doesn’t really matter.
It was pretty good. I thoroughly enjoyed watching it. They switched from story to story nicely and obviously it all came together as one shit-show. I thought Gosling and Carell hanging out together at the bar was very entertaining. I’ve made it clear in the past that I dislike Emma Stone but she was fine and didn’t ruin the movie for me. Carell’s son being so insightful was a little over the top for a 13 year old but that was kind of the point.
I’m not writing this post to discuss the movie though, I’m writing it more to discuss the idea of the movie and the message that it sends. There seems to be a point where each character has given up on “true love”. Carell after being cheated on, his wife after cheating on him, Gosling before he meets Hannah, Carell’s son after he finds out the girl he loves is actually in love with his dad, etc. But in the end, what do you know, everyone ends up believing in true love. I think the sign of a good movie is getting their message across and having the viewer feel it. For a few moments after the movie ended, I was inspired. I had this thought in my head that everyone has their one and only soul-mate and they are destined to end up with that person and that it was only a matter of time until that happened with me. It made me happy thinking about that.
A few moments after those few moments, I snapped out of it and realized that I don’t really believe in that. The idea of a soul-mate, while comforting and hopeful, doesn’t really work for me. I think this could come down to a religious thing as well. I’m pretty opposed to religion. I don’t have a problem with other people believing in God or practicing their own religion, but I personally don’t think I’ll ever be a believer. I won’t get into it more than that although I feel like I could dedicate a whole post to it. Anyway, I don’t think anything is predetermined and nothing happens for a reason. Saying things like “What if I decided to eat lunch somewhere else that day?” or “I missed the bus which never happens and because of that I was late which resulted in me meeting Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. It was meant to be.” don’t really fly with me. Odds are you and Mr. Perfect will hate each other in 20 years and had you eaten lunch somewhere else that day, you would have met another Mr. or Mrs. Perfect who you would also hate after 20 years. I think everything is chance and from the ages of 18-35 you’re exposed to millions of chances to meet people. Eventually you’re going to meet “Mr. or Mrs. Perfect” (regardless of whether he/she is actually perfect or not).
I’m not saying people can’t love each other. I don’t know if I would call it “true love” but I believe two people can meet and spend their entire life together and be very happy with it. I suppose you could define that as a soul-mate or true love. I think in the entire world, nearly 7 billion people, there’s probably more than one person that you fall in ‘true love’ with. Hell, there’s probably one in each of the 50 states but because I seldom get out of Pennsylvania/New Jersey I’m never going to meet them. However, the odds of me finding one of those people in my immediate area is slim even if I have millions of opportunities to meet people. More likely than not I think you’ll meet someone who you genuinely like spending time with, you’ll end up getting married, and after X number of years you’ll be exposed to all of their annoying habits and flaws and naturally focus on them more than what made you fall in love in the first place which is why your marriage will ultimately be doomed to fail. This is an extremely depressing thought and the exact opposite of what the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love wanted you to think after watching it. However, I’m coming to this conclusion because the more I go through life the more I think it’s the opposite of what most Hollywood productions display (this could be due to current events).
Carell fought for his soul-mate after they split up and ends up getting her back. What happens after that? What if his wife cheats on him again? What if he cheats on her? What if they both just don’t enjoy each others company anymore and would prefer to be apart? Are they still soul-mates? Is it still meant to be? Do they keep fighting? What if all along you would have been happier if you stopped fighting? I think this kind of relates to religion. It’s the idea that your actions have a real purpose behind them. The idea that you’re fighting for something (whether it makes you happier or less happy) is more comforting than just giving up. Sure he could have given up and never fallen in love again, but that would be a boring life compared to him trying to get his wife back whether or not he’s happy/successful.
What I think it ultimately boils down to is that everyone is in love with the idea of love, myself included. Thinking that I could have the perfect girl, attractive, funny, smart, yadda yadda, is great. Someone who likes running and doesn’t mind that I play Diablo for 3 hours a day and hates Emma Stone as much as I do and offers to pay at meals and hates Drake as much as I do and loves Seinfeld as much as I do and doesn’t worry about eating a Blizzard from Dairy Queen (but maintains her slim figure of course) and perhaps most importantly, someone I could show fukung pictures like this too and have them laugh as hard as I do. But that would be in a perfect world and I’m probably asking for too much. Just having someone there who wants to think of you the same way you want to think of them (whether or not that’s actually how it is) is a great feeling. That’s probably how some relationships start, two people like each other but more importantly they just want a significant other to give their love to (gaye). The problem is, you can’t have a fully functioning relationship like that. Do I want to be in love? Sure, who doesn’t? But I’m not going to start a relationship simply because I want to be in love and being with someone who feels the same way is the closest thing to true love as I can get.
This was a long post and I’d be surprised if many of you made it to the end. I’m also aware that these aren’t entirely original thoughts but I thought it was something I could write a post about and I actually enjoyed writing this post. PS, I really crack up every time I look at that picture. Females, feel free to apply for love if you do the same.
I have just returned from a great bowling trip with Wom, Wevs, and Wads. That’s Tom, Evan, and Adam for those who speak English (my name happens to be Wam). Anyway, we ended up playing 6 full games of bowling in teams of two. Naturally we did brothers versus brothers. Wom and I took one lane while Wevs and Wads took the one next to us. All of us like to gamble so each game had money on it. The first game was nothing big, $2. I started off great with a 167 and Wom followed suit with ~150. Wevs and Wads came up empty and Tom and I took game 1 with ease. That was about the only highlight of the trip for our side. I continued bowling well with a 153 in the second game but we lost due to a heroic effort from the Wevs who put up a 222.
Wom and I were down a dollar after 2 games but still confident so we made the next game for $4. This is where things went south. I don’t know how to describe other than to say I had a major meltdown for the next 4 games. I had one game of a 126 and the rest were around 105-110. I just couldn’t figure it out. I don’t know what happened but I was missing everything. I didn’t know how to approach spare attempts and every first ball was missing the headpin to the left. I think I had 10 or 15 strikes for the whole 6 game and well over half were Jersey strikes. I couldn’t convert spares that I normally can and just fell apart mentally. We were given 40 pins on the last game. I was around 115, Wom was around 140 I think but Wads threw up a 200 and Wevs was around 175 so it was a loss. We lost 5 games in a row for a total loss of $21. It was extremely discouraging and the last 2 games or so was not nearly as fun as the first two. I’ll give the Cohens’ credit though. While I finished up a 130 average (heavily inflated from those first two games) they both averaged about 160 and we would have had trouble beating them even if I bowled normal.
One thing I want to take note of was a move the Wevs pulled on 4 separate occasions. He throws his first ball and if he believes it will be a strike, he turns and starts walking back ready to give high fives because he’s so confident. Now, you look like a goon if it’s not a strike but you look pretty cool if it is a strike. I suppose I like showboating as much as the next guy but a move like is very high risk high reward. Here’s an example of showboating gone wrong. Skip to 0:30
My time in Avalon is over. Surprisingly enough the last two days were easily the most eventful. For starters, I picked Tom and Weller up from the bar at 2 in the morning. They had two females with them who needed a ride back to Sea Isle. I had no qualms with this as I had nothing to do. We were driving to Sea Isle when an Avalon police vehicle pulled behind me. They’re very strict on the speed limit so I made sure I was going 25 and not a mile per hour over. With four passengers all of whom were intoxicated, my mind was not entirely on the road and for perhaps a split second, I grazed the center line. The cop took this as enough reason to pull me over. Shocker.
I had my license out but we could not locate the registration. I have Tom as my inebriated shotgun rider searching like a mad-man and making comments like “This isn’t our car.” Fortunately, Weller was composed enough to find the registration in two seconds and we gave it to the cop. I think once the cop saw that I wasn’t drunk he knew the pull-over was pointless. When he returned to the car he said “Just watch the middle line” and sent me on my way. That was that.
Perhaps the even more excited event happened last night. Our final night at Avalon was winding down and I was watching the Olympic Trials while doing core. My mother came down and clearly something was wrong. I asked what was up and she said “Your father spilled a red drink all over the white carpet in the master bedroom.” Just great, on the last night we wait to mess something up like this. Shortly after, my dad comes down stairs in his boxers looking like he just witnessed a murder. I asked the wide-eyed fellow what happened and he kept saying it was a mistake and an accident and it’s over so we should stop worrying about it. Hours later the cleaning effort was still going but it was no use, that stain was not coming out.
I don’t know what happened. I’m not in any mood to ask and JC is not in any mood to tell. There’s a possibility that we may never stay in that house again but that wouldn’t be the end of the world. Coincidentally Nancy made the suggestion earlier in the week that maybe we won’t come back next year. I vetoed on the grounds that I’m going to be 21 and it just wouldn’t be fair to drag me along for 20 years and then not let me reap the benefits.
I’m writing this post so that you see something new when you visit. This week has been relaxing yet pretty boring. I wake up around 9:30, hang out until noon, go to the beach, get dinner, hang out, play Diablo, then go to bed. It’s literally been that for the entire week. I don’t do anything exciting really and I can’t believe tomorrow is Friday meaning my last day here. The week has gone by so fast because every day is exactly the same. I don’t know what else to say besides that.
Now I’m going to bombard you with running news that no one probably cares about but it’s the only significant thing happening right now. My back is not back to normal. After a nice 2 mile run with Laura where I didn’t feel anything, I had a setback the following day. I went out for a run and after 1.5 miles that was probably too fast for me, I started to feel something in my back. I slowed down significantly and jogged back home for a defeated 3 mile run. I took the next day off and jogged two miles yesterday. It felt better than the last run but still not ‘good’. I jogged another 2 miles, and yes I’m saying jogged not ran because I was in fact jogging, and again it did not feel good. I don’t know what to do. I’m taking tomorrow off and I plan on getting a bone scan or something when I get back to see if the fracture healed up and this is what is known as ‘residual pain’ (which is normal when returning from a stress fracture) or if the fracture is still there and I’m screwed. Well, either way I don’t really know. The fracture could be healed but the ‘bony defect’ could be causing the pain in which case I have to take off running for the rest of my life. If the fracture isn’t healed up then I’m also screwed because I pretty much won’t have a senior year of running. The only thing I can hope for is that what I’m feeling is residual pain and that in a matter of weeks I will be back to normal. At this point there’s not much I can do to change my future. I will either have the opportunity to run my senior year or I won’t. I might be able to run after college or I might not. I took 5 full months off for the chance to come back and have one last go at collegiate running but it just might not be in the cards at this point.
Also, I don’t like making posts like this because it makes me look like I’m searching for pity to some extent but I don’t know what else to write about right now. I’m not looking for pity because either way it won’t change whether or not I can run. I know I have to stay positive and whatnot but look at it like this, this blog is my way of venting. I generally feel a lot better after I write out all of the negative stuff so take that for what it’s worth.
I’m going to write about an insignificant thing that happened to me today. For the first time all week we had good weather and my family and I decided to go the beach. I brought my Chuck Klosterman book, a chair, a towel, and a Frisbee. When we got to the beach it was just my sister, a family friend, and myself. We set up right behind another family unit. After looking over this other family unit I noticed two young girls, probably around my age or maybe a little younger. From 20 feet away they were both relatively attractive, one more so than the other, and relatively tan, again the same one more so than the other. Obviously I’m at the beach and there’s going to be young and attractive women all over the place. Anyway, they were sitting in their chairs reading books. I set up my chair and did the same.
Over the 4 hours that we spent at the beach, I found myself looking up at the one girl every now and then. What’s worth noting is that whenever I looked up at her, she was often looking back at me. Regardless of the extent of interest, it did exist. No girl just happens to look in one direction that many times in the time span that we were there. With that said, I didn’t do anything but look at her periodically. I didn’t really change my behavior at all because of the fact that she was there. I played Frisbee with Laura and my dad, I went in the ocean a few times, and I laid in the sand like I always do.
Still, I imagine this girl and I are in similar situations. We’re both on a family vacation where there is little to do besides spend 4 hours at the beach. Even the thought of talking to a stranger of the opposite sex who is of the same age would be a much welcomed change to the regular daily agenda. For all I know I would absolutely despise this girl and every thing she stands for. But that’s not the point, the point is even if I spoke to this girl for 5 minutes or we ended up hanging out due to our close proximity, it would add so much more to this bland and dull vacation. For all I know this girl feels the same way. She’d love just the idea of hanging out with a random boy she met that day at the beach even if he’s a jackass. It’s something different that adds a little spice to an otherwise boring vacation. Yet 9 times out of 10 we’re both leaving that beach without ever saying a word to each other. I suppose I can only blame myself for that. Will I see this particular girl again? Probably not. I’ll probably see other girls around my age that I’m attracted to and the exact same situation will play out with them as well.
I guess the point of this is that there’s a chance that two people want something or are at least considering it but it doesn’t happen. I don’t care if the girl is a bitch and there’s a zero percent chance of me getting any, I’d rather have an experience and get a funny story out of it rather than sit here in my house playing guitar and Diablo for 3 hours. Just something I was thinking about.
The past two days have been great. I saw noticeable improvement in my skin yesterday and decided to run two miles. I felt fine. Then I played seven, yes seven, hours of Diablo, while watching TV (mostly US Open). The night concluded with 15+ games of ping-pong with Tom which is always enjoyable. The only down side was that I went to bed at 2:00 and was still not asleep by 3:00, I suppose that’s good though because it means I’m pretty much over mono.
Although it sounds impossible, today might have topped yesterday. I woke up at 9:00 and decided I would go to Mondauk to squeeze a run in before the huge crowd of people showed up. Believe it or not, peoples day’s DO start before 9:00 as I was far from alone while I ran there. I was shirtless and in short shorts and while my rash does not feel bad at all, it probably looks worse than ever, it’s not raised and red, but instead it’s purple and sticks out a lot more. Regardless, I ran 3 full miles non-stop and pain-free. It was incredible, I ran the first mile in 7:10, the second in 7:00 and the third in 6:55. I was tired at the end but I felt like a real runner again. I came home and began packing for Stortzfest 2012. By 2:00 Laura, my mother, and I arrived at our shore house in Avalon. My dad showed up shortly after and the rest of the day was spent being lazy. We just got back from a seafood dinner and there’s nothing on my agenda. Tom won’t be here until Wednesday and Jeff is in New Zealand so it will be a toned down year for sure but I’m not complaining.
With that said, again, feel free to come down and visit if you can find the time. Ask friends, get a group to come up. While it’s great to have time off and with the family, I’m going to be very bored so I’m looking for friends. Even if we’re only kind of friends, please come down. We can drink. Here’s a picture of the house and a sunset from the dock which will hopefully entice someone.
I know I said I was done posting pictures but I keep giving myself good material so here’s a shot of my legs. I’m aware it looks like a really dirty picture at first glance but who gives a qua. I promise this will be my last post dedicated to how I feel. It took a lot of effort to tuck my balls/johnson back far enough to show all of my legs.
Life has been sub-par lately. While I’m not in THAT much discomfort and I don’t have to go to work, I can’t run and I’m very tired pretty often. I don’t eat very much and have dropped 6 pounds in the past week. I’m down to 145 and who knows what I’ll be in another week. Regardless, less weight will make coming back to running easier. I play a lot of Diablo, watch a lot of shitty movies (although the U.S. Open was on today so that’s good), and sleep a lot. This is what my summer lifestyle used to be in middle school so it’s not terrible but I would like to be able to run. My throat is almost entirely better so once this rash goes away I’ll be back to normal. Just in time for Avalon.
Assuming I’m healthy and capable of doing things, I invite everyone and anyone to come down and spend a day or two or three at Avalon with the Stortz’s for Stortzfest 2012 as Weller would like to call it. I can’t promise it will be out of this world but if you like free food, drinking, and going to the beach then it won’t be too bad of a time. The house is really amazing and there will be plenty of extra room. Keep it in mind.
This will be the last time I post pictures but I figure I had to because it got worse and that is what this blog is for. These are actually not the worst of the worst but they’re close and I don’t feel like taking a picture right now so this will have to do.
I got test results back and apparently I have mono which kind of sucks. I’m 2+ weeks into though so it shouldn’t last too much longer and I think the worst of it is over. My throat was killing me for the last two weeks but it’s actually feeling better now (not completely better but definitely a step in the right direction). The rash is from me taking strep-throat pills when I didn’t have strep throat and my mono freaked out because of the pills and then this happened. It should be significantly better in a few days, just in time for the beach. Once this rash goes away I think I’m pretty much home free. Unfortunately I’m not supposed to drink if I’m not feeling 100% but that’s not a big deal because I was going to DD everyone in Avalon anyway. I just want to be able to go on the beach without getting stared at. I went on a 1 mile run today and it was really tough. You’re probably wondering, did I go out shirtless and in short shorts even though I have this rash? Why yes I did. It was only a mile and I figured what’s the worst that can happen. Anyway, this is pretty terrible, looking at myself in the mirror is hard to do and this whole thing is just disgusting beyond belief.
The doctor says I have an allergic reaction to the medicine I took for ‘strep’ even though I didn’t have strep. I have to take Benadryl but that’s pretty much all I can do. Also, the doctor was asking about my throat and I told him it wasn’t getting much better so he’s running another strep test and another mono test. This is terrible. Avalon is this Saturday and at this rate I’m going to spend the entire week on the couch like a leper, completely cast aside from all social interaction. Per request of Alaska, here’s a few more photos. It’s not getting any better.
My body has turned on me. It’s been two full weeks and my throat is still not better and then today I wake up to this.
I was having some dream about Diablo and Galen Rupp on and off from about 3 in the morning and was constantly scratching my face because it itched so bad. Finally I got up at 6:45 and saw this nasty face staring back at me. I have no idea what this could be. I thought it was something in my bed that I was having an allergic reaction to but my mom seems to think otherwise. I suppose it’s not as bad as it looks, it itches pretty good but that’s about it. I’m taking off work and going to the doctor at 11:15 to see if we can’t get this shit figured out. Seriously, my body is having a breakdown and has been for a week or two. I don’t know how they’re supposed to figure out what this is though. I figure worst case scenario I’m now allergic to cats in which case I’ll have to kill them all but let’s hope that’s not the case. I wonder if it’s coincidence that Tom moves in and all of a sudden I’m getting sick all over the place.
If anything, my stress fracture (or lack there of) is the best part of my body right now. I ran another 2 miles yesterday and felt as good and pain-free as ever. I slowed these two down but felt a little better doing them. My quads are unbelievably sore though. I honestly couldn’t go from standing up to sitting down on the toilet because it hurt so bad. That’s not out of the ordinary for me though. For whatever reason my quads are the only thing that gets sore when I start running again. This time is just a little more extreme because instead of 2 weeks off it’s 5 months. Regardless, it’s good to be back running. Unfortunately, I may have to take some time off NOT because of my back which really sucks. I was just starting to get something going and then this shit happens. What. The. Qua.