Two days ago I was at the Rittenhouse Hotel for work. I wore a dress shirt and naturally I had pit stains before I even left my house. Me, being the smart guy I am though, packed a second shirt.
Aside from the fact that I was self-conscious about my pit-stains for the full 3 hour work event, it went well.
I had planned to meet someone for drinks afterward. This is where the second dress shirt comes in.
I go into a stall in the hotel lobby bathroom to change shirts, but the stall is clogged and there’s a terd the size of a softball floating around. Awesome. This doesn’t phase me though, because I’m not there for the stall.
I’m a bit flustered as I’m changing shirts so I hardly notice the toilet continually flushing because of the motion sensor picking up my movement.
Next thing I know, we have a breach. Water starts shooting out of this thing like a bidet and shit-softball is up next. I don’t even have my second shirt on yet.
I consider myself good under pressure.
In this moment, it’s about prioritizing. Do I:
- Keep putting on my second shirt, accept that my shoe will get grossly wet, then leave.
- Attempt to fix the clog somehow.
- Get out on the spot, shirtless, and hope no one else is in the bathroom, all the while knowing if someone is outside they’ll automatically assume I clogged the toilet.
Option 3, no doubt.
I burst out of the stall, shirtless and pants unbuttoned. No one was out there. I put my bag near the sinks and quickly fake-piss at the urinal so I can button up my second shirt.
Meanwhile, water is coming out of the bottom of the second stall door. If anyone walks in, I’m toast.
I get shirt two on, grab my stuff, and I’m OUT.
And that’s it. The rest of the night was great!