Sam

All articles by Sam

 

Coming Soon: The First Ever Bansheemann7 Interview

Schlegel’s Bagel’s recently posted an interview with recent UC grad and UCXC member, Jamie Hartop. If you know Jamie, you’ll enjoy reading his responses to Luke’s questions. I can’t believe I’ve had a blog for 10 years and never once thought to do a god damn interview. I’m stealing this idea, Luke, so thank you. My first...
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The New Weekend Routine

Saturday was rough. I felt shitty all day from the night before and around 5:30 PM I had a decision – go out or stay in? Staying in was going to make me happier, so that’s what I did. No alcohol. I was in bed by 11:30 and that was that. I slept for 10...
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One Year With Covy

Today marks the one year anniversary of me and Covy joining forces. Here are some things I’ve noticed: He’s a total Beta. This didn’t become totally apparent until Melon was added to the mix. Now I witness Covy get his ass beat every night by a blind cat that’s half his size. The biggest Alpha...
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AWOLNATION: Here Come the Runts Review

This post is exclusively for Imbemba (and maybe Mark), though if you like AWOL, read away. Thoughts in Album Order Here Come the Runts – The tempo changes keep you in and the drums absolutely tie the song together. A very good start to the album. Passion – Not sure how this came to be a single....
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‘Moral Flattening’ and Second Chances

The tweet below rings true to me. Are others disturbed by the moral flattening going on? Glenn Thrush/Al Franken should not be mentioned in the same breath as Harvey Weinstein/Kevin Spacey. — Bari Weiss (@bariweiss) November 21, 2017 Sometimes public perception feels so black and white. You’re either one of the good ones or one...
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Lane Johnson’s PMT Comment

Lane Johnson said this on Pardon My Take this week. “I’d much rather have fun and win a Super Bowl than be miserable and win five Super Bowls.” Lane Johnson doesn’t know how he’d feel if he won five Super Bowls the ‘Patriot way‘, so I don’t buy what he says, but I immediately thought...
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Go Birds

I’ll try to keep this short, but want to post since I haven’t in a week. It’s Wednesday night and I’m still hungover from Sunday. That was the greatest game of my life, all sports, all everything. The Philly Special was the single greatest play I’ve ever seen all things considered. Nick Foles is the...
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Betting the Super Bowl

There are two thought processes for betting this game as an Eagles fan. 1. Would I pay $X for the Eagles to win the Super Bowl? The easy answer is yes, I would. I could bet $1,000 on the Patriots moneyline (which would pay $526 profit if they won). If the Pats win, I win...
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A post to break up the Super Bowl talk

I’d wager my NFL post-season gambling winnings that one of these will make you laugh....
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I never want to go to a Super Bowl

I keep hearing Eagles fans on the radio say: “We bought our tickets to Minnesota, we’re going to the Super Bowl!“ I’d much rather watch the Super Bowl in Philly than go to Minnesota to watch it in person. If (when) the Eagles win: I’m going straight to City Hall. No place in Minnesota is going...
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I watched the first episode of Black Mirror

I listened to that cuck Gourlay (and Jamie) and watched episode one of Black Mirror just now. Quick thoughts: I thought the acting was very good. I liked that it’s basically here’s what would probably happen if this ridiculous real-life scenario actually occurred, and could see endless opportunities for episodes based on that idea. Initially I thought...
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Is Black Mirror worth watching?

Black Mirror comes highly recommended from Gourlay. He explained the first episode is about some prime minister banging a pig on TV, but that the other episodes are really good. I read a little bit of the Wiki and it actually does seem interesting. Additionally, each episode being standalone and each season being only a...
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Two Lazy Super Bowl LII Story Lines

Philadelphia sports fans are the worst! Give it a rest. This narrative that Philly fans are the scum of the earth is so old and tired. Snowballs at Santa Claus was 50 fucking years ago yet every media outlet brings it up on an annual basis. Vikings Fans complained after last weekend’s game about how...
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No Phone Before Bed

I check my phone every night in bed: Twitter Instagram Snapchat Crypto prices Sports scores Grinder Facebook On bad nights this can take 20 minutes. I hate it. It speaks to the addictive nature of social media that both Tom and Luke have blogged about recently. I have no reason to check other than being...
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HQ Trivia Sucks

HQ Trivia is all the rage these days and it fucking sucks. Here’s why: The intros are AWFUL Every intro is a way-too-long monologue filled with bullshit puns that are charming at first; But after a week you just start to hate them. The questions are too hard I know I know, “that’s the point...
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Hey Gold Bond, WTF

I bought some top of the line Men’s Gold Bond recently because I have really dry skin. My skin in the winter is like a drug addict, and Gold Bond is like crack. I love it. But then, after it wears off, I’m even worse off than before. I just seek out more Gold Bond to...
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LASIK: One Year Later

Almost exactly a year ago I got LASIK. It cost me $2,600 and was one of the best decisions of my life. My eyes were terrible, -7.0 and -8.0. I couldn’t function without glasses or contact. Contacts sucked. My eyes irritated me enough to the point where I wore glasses to work most days because...
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Big Cat pitching Mark Cuban

I never followed Barstool much until a few months ago when I made Pardon My Take a regular listen. I’m aware the video is two years old and 10 minutes long, but I found it really entertaining. Cuban is a good sport and Big Cat does a pretty damn good job pitching the ideas. If...
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More emotional in my old age?

I’ve been moved to tears (or close to it) four times in the past couple of weeks and I don’t know why. Kathrine Switzer’s SC Feature Switzer was the first woman to run the Boston Marathon. She wasn’t supposed to but she said DGAF and did anyway. Out of it came one of the most...
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25 Goals for 2018

Fewer AND more accomplishable goals this year. Help or active participation in any of these are encouraged. Watch a Sixers playoff game in person – Obviously they need to make the playoffs first. Learn how to proficiently play the Stairway to Heaven solo on guitar – I think I can do this. Get a physical...
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2017 Goals – How’d I do?

13/30 on the year. PR in the mile AND 5k – Never got a good shot at the 5k but yes to the mile! That will be a 2018 goal. Visit three major-ish US cities that I’ve never been to – Not even close. Go to a country I’ve never been to – Whoopsies! Move out of my...
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I found my wedding song

I don’t know anything about this song. I heard it for the first time yesterday,. I don’t know if it’s super popular or cliche, and I don’t care. Whatever lucky lady gets to marry me, this is it. This is the song....
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My Attempt at Christmas Song Lyrics

Below are some classic Christmas songs, and I’m going to write as many lyrics as I know for each one. Shane is going to LOVE this post. Green means I’m confident. Red means I’m not so sure. Let’s get started! White Christmas I’m dreaming of a White Christmas. I’m dreaming of snow. Can’t even guess...
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How long do you keep a generic holiday card?

When you receive a card from someone for: Christmas Your birthday Graduating high school July 4th Adopting a blind cat Losing your virginity that simply acknowledges you and / or an accomplishment(s), how long do you keep it? Tom’s recent post touched on this as well as a Seinfeld episode, but for me personally? I throw...
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I regret getting LASIK cause these glasses were cool as shit

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‘Bout time for a BOWLING UPDATE

I know a lot of you are worried that I stopped bowling since I don’t blog about it anymore. This post is to put your concerns at ease. Last night was a career night. I was like Brady and the pins were Gronk. 267, 210, and 235 for a 712 series. Our team went 1-3...
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A Girl Jumped off the East Falls Bridge

This is a long post and the story below happened earlier tonight. What happened from my perspective It was about 6:30PM and 25 degrees outside. I was running on Falls Bridge and could see a car was parked in the middle of the one lane with no one was in it. There were two women...
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Best of Christmas: Songs and Movies

Top Christmas Songs   4. All I want for Christmas is You – Mariah Carey It seems like Mariah Carey kind’ve sucks but whatever, I like this song. 3. Peace on Earth / Little Drummer Boy – Jason Segel / Jack Black STFU this is a great mash-up and these two are great actors. 2. Carol...
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My Top 10 Songs Over 8 Minutes

10. Achilles Last Stand (10:26) – Led Zeppelin Stairway and Kashmir were too obvious. This is a great lesser-known Zeppelin song. Realistically, you could come up with just a top 10 Led Zeppelin songs over 8 minutes if you went through all of their stuff. 9. Jesus of Suburbia (9:08) – Green Day I bought...
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NFL Week 14 2017 – LOCK OF THE WEEK

Lock of the Week – New York Giants +3.5 vs. Dallas Cowboys Okay, 6/10 on the season and my last two locks have been disastrous. Smart gamblers would be skeptical of my picks, but this week may be my lock of the SEASON, and you don’t want to miss out. Also, I can’t take credit...
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Story: The Clogged Toilet in the Hotel Lobby Bathroom

Two days ago I was at the Rittenhouse Hotel for work. I wore a dress shirt and naturally I had pit stains before I even left my house. Me, being the smart guy I am though, packed a second shirt. Aside from the fact that I was self-conscious about my pit-stains for the full 3 hour work...
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Why aren’t field goals in Fantasy Football decimal scoring?

Rob said this the other week and it blew my mind. Fantasy football is stuck in the stone-age with 30-39 yards = 3 points, 40 – 49 = 4 points, etc. Every league at this point is decimal scoring, why wouldn’t a 35 yard field goal be 3.5 points? How many games have been LOST...
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NFL Week 13 2017 – LOCK OF THE WEEK

I lost the last lock on purpose so I could be 6/9 on the season. Lock of the Week – Denver Broncos -1.5 @ Miami Dolphins It’s a game that no one will watch because both of these teams suck, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make some cash while you’re watching other games, right?...
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How NOT to do Christmas Presents

My family has done a pollyanna for Christmas the last ~6 years or so. This year, it was suggested that we’d “make a list of what gifts you want and others can buy them for you”. I’ve heard of other families doing this and I think it’s a TERRIBLE idea. The whole point of presents...
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An Instagram for Melon (and Covy)?

Multiple people have suggested I create an Instagram account for my new blind cat, Melon (featuring his seeing-eye-cat Covy). Everyone has Instagram accounts for their pets, but because Melon has no eyeballs, and has a seeing-eye-cat, it’s unique. The Pros The blind cat is amazing social media material. He’s super confident and has a high...
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#GivingTuesday is Tomorrow – Let’s Donate

#GivingTuesday is tomorrow! As an employee of a company who profits off of non-profits processing donations (wat), I try to do my part in making #GivingTuesday as big as possible! Just the fact that you’re reading this blog means your life is better than like 3 billion people in the world. There are thousands of...
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NFL Week 12 2017 – LOCK OF THE WEEK

It’s not every day that Nathan Peterman throws 5 interceptions in an NFL game, but when he does, you want to have money on the team he’s playing against like I did last week. Lock of the Week – Indianapolis Colts +3 vs. Tennessee Titans I don’t have much to say about this one other...
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I’m still alive

I haven’t posted all week. The holiday and blind cat have taken up a good chunk of my time but everything’s going well! Here’s some funny things to make this post worth checking: Robots screwing up will always be funny: Me at the gym: The best argument for dogs > cats: As someone who rescues...
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I adopted the blind cat

Here’s me and Melon: Melon found his forever home! We can already tell these guys are going to have a blast together ❤️ Special thanks to both of Melon’s foster homes for getting him where he needed to go. @philly_foster_nerds #adopt #catsofinstagram #bffs #rescuecat #friendshipgoals #phillypaws A post shared by PAWS (@phillypaws) on Nov 19,...
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NFL Week 11 2017 – LOCK OF THE WEEK

Atlanta last week was a no-brainer. Lock of the Week – San Diego Chargers -7 vs. Buffalo Bills This is the first week I’ll be putting my money where my mouth is. $50 on the Chargers here is probably the second easiest $50 I’ve ever made. If that’s not convincing enough for you, Wads blind-confirmed...
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I might adopt this cat

That little guy is Melon and he has no eyes. You can see more pictures of him here. I saw he was up for adoption like 6 weeks ago and figured he’d be snatched up quickly. Sadly, he hasn’t. I wasn’t considering getting another cat, but after seeing that he was still there, I started to...
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Top 5 Ben Stiller Movies

5. Tropic Thunder The comedic star-power surrounding Stiller is great – Robert Downey, Jack Black, Danny McBride, McConaughey, Cruise, etc. and it also helps that he directed it. The Simple Jack conversation and never going “full-retard” is a classic. 4. Starsky and Hutch Underrated movie, granted I’m an Owen Wilson fan. Playing the moody, Napolean...
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NFL Week 10 2017 – LOCK OF THE WEEK

I’ve missed on two locks and both were going against the Jets. I’ve learned my lesson, as Simoncini would say, the Jets are contenders. Lock of the Week – Atlanta Falcons -3.5 vs. Dallas Cowboys I saw this line on Tuesday and immediately thought Atlanta was going to win in a blowout. This was before...
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Marriage as a 5 Year Contract

No commitment in our society is life-long except marriage (I did not fact check this). We lease cars, rent apartments, even pets only last a decade or so. But not marriage. Marriage is a forever-commitment, and we’re starting to realize now how unrealistic this is. The solution? Marriage should be written as a recurring 5 year contract....
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280 Characters – Not a big deal

I wrote this post a year ago about conciseness being is a valuable skill in the real world (a top 10% post of mine in my opinion). Twitter doubled its character-limit for tweets to 280 and people are going nuts. You’d think, given my stance on conciseness, I’d be up in arms about this too. But...
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Would this make professional sporting events better or worse?

To me, this is a brilliant idea that I would implement immediately. Before each game, a seat ticket is drawn at random and whoever has that ticket has to sing the National Anthem in front of everyone or else they have to leave the game. This is a 10/10. Some (most?) would forget the words....
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Pre UC Twilight 2017

Tonight is the annual Ursinus Twilight meet where alumni and current athletes race each other in a 3200m. A month ago I wrote this post about how great running was going. One line stands out: “My leg is no trouble at all!” Literally the next day I woke up and my leg hurt on every...
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My Eagles Expectations

The Eagles should make the Super Bowl, and I expect them to. Them going after Ajayi today confirms the front office feels the same way. The Eagles and Seattle are the two NFC contenders right now. The Eagles are not only a game up, but they’re more balanced as a team. According to FiveThirtyEight, the...
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NFL Week 8 2017 – LOCK OF THE WEEK

Not only did I hit my lock last week, but I also gave lock-status to Jazz -10 vs. Lakers last night which they covered by 5. Lock of the Week – Hotlanta Falcons – 6 at New York Jets Atlanta looked about as bad as possible last week putting up only 7 points against one...
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Three Thoughts on Professional Sporting Events

Dancers / Cheerleaders This may be the weirdest tradition that still remains in sports (aside from everything in baseball). The Sixers Dancers came out last night and did a dance routine. They were all really attractive, dressed in revealing clothing, and did a very sexual dance routine. Ben and I both acknowledged how weird &...
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